Reason 1, 029 Why I don't like going on Family Vacations!

There are so many reasons not to go on a family vacation, but I try to keep the loving feeling in the forefront and hop on board to what I hope will be great time with the family. Now, I love my family I really do, but um, sometimes I don’t like being around them for long periods of time and some of my folks I prefer to not be around them at all if possible. My mouth is all I am going to say.


As I have mentioned before, the family is going to Myrtle Beach for this year’s family vacay. I have been trying to work on the itinerary and such, but something or someone always derails me in completing it. Hell, someone pisses me off and I am like forget about it!

On to this particular reason, we are driving to Myrtle Beach. We are driving from Alabama, Georgia or Virginia. Last week I decided to MapQuest and Google map this trek. When I did, I started to hyperventilate. No, I couldn’t breathe properly for a minute or two. Imagine being forced to see on two different map services the time is calculated to be almost 9 hours! Okay, 8 hours and 55 minutes, but that equates to 9 hours. I immediately emailed my sister and she says, “How did you all miscalculate that?” No help from her. So I start examining the maps and I still cannot see this trip taking more than 6.5 hours. I have driven through SC and it only takes 1.5 hours. I don’t get it. But I also know that it is suppose to take a little over two hours to get to Atlanta from here and I can do it in an hour and 55 minutes. Don’t ask. So this has me all discombobulated because I hate road trips with a passion so fully imbedded in my soul, and yes I am being the most dramatic here. I cannot be in a car longer than 5 hours, because after that I become someone else. It isn’t pretty. Now I have to take valium and sleep the entire way.

So not only am I going to be in a vehicle with family I am going to be in there with them for almost 9 hours. Now to the next point, we discussed the travelling arrangements early on. I was going to ride with my cousin and her husband and their son. Then the son decides to bring a girlfriend. Then the son who was flying directly into to Myrtle Beach is now driving to Montgomery and riding. Count the number of passengers for a midsize SUV. Yeah. So now I am thinking reason 1,029 why I don’t like planning vacations with family.

My other cousin is so excited about going and he has already booked his car rental and made plans for me to ride with him, pick up my luggage the day before departure and me driving with him and his wife to Myrtle Beach. He called and told me this last week and I didn’t respond one way or the other because he undoubtedly didn’t get the memo. I love my cousin, I sho do, but I don’t like riding in a vehicle with him and me and his wife are not best friends and his ass smokes. Sisterlock folks, know we don’t play that because the smoke will get trapped in our hair. Homey don’t play that, for real. Furthermore, I will not be handing over my luggage the day before we leave, I am funny about folks going through my luggage and touching my underwear, seriously. I got issues and I don’t trust folks with my stuff and frankly I will not do my final inventory until I go to bed that night, so no way am I going to be separated from my luggage. Seriously, I am allergic to smoke I will not have my luggage or myself smelling like smoke so I can’t breathe the entire trip.  What kind of vacay would that be if I can't breathe?

So now that my travel plans are all upended, I remember why on the last family trip I flew to Orlando. I can’t. My family is too wishy, washy and frankly I don’t like to be aggravated before vacation. If I even go to Myrtle Beach, this will be the last family vacation. I will only be vacationing with my sister from here on out, because we make a decision stick to it and do it. My family on the other end be doing the most. The most to get on my nerves. I told my sister I may not be going on this trip because if I have to ride with smoky the bear cousin, I am done and I will mail my half of the room to her. Her response “Let a sista know something because I am not going to be up there with them either, that defeats the purpose.” Like they ain't her family too!