Cashana's Musings on Life: Rambling My New Normal...Randoms

I am back…I hope. You may want to grab a cold one or a hot drink because this sucker is long. Really long. I have tons of pictures and lots to say. I am reminded I must not ever take such a long break from blogging.

First, I would like to thank those who offered condolences for the loss of my stepfather. I am sorry I didn’t respond back, but as you can imagine things during this time were stressful and exhausting. I saw them and I do appreciate the time you took to respond.

So let’s begin the randoms and ramblings back to that week. My stepfather was in the hospital five days before my sister even knew he had been hospitalized for a ruptured appendix. When she found out on Tuesday evening she called me and I in turn called his hospital room. He told me what happened and then I admonished him for not letting his family know because he has a daughter in California and his son is in Virginia Beach. My stepfather loved to laugh and even though I was giving him the business he was laughing. He even told me to stop making him laugh because it made his stitches hurt. I told him I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it to the hospital but I was sending my cousin over to check on him. He said, “Shana, I appreciate you just calling and checking on me and that is enough for me.” Little did I know…

I implore you to make sure you have business in order. Make sure you have a will and make sure folks know what your final wishes are, because without that information things can get messy. My stepfather’s affairs were messy. He was legally separated from his wife, but he had a girlfriend who lived with him. I was the one at the hospital irked the officials were ignoring me and my stepfather’s brother to talk to the girlfriend but she told them she was his wife. My words, “He has a wife, but she lives in Virginia Beach. She will be calling so make sure you give her the information she requests.” Talking about some common-law shit. I wasn’t having it and when things went down, his first daughter had to be the one to sign papers and the girlfriend…never mind. Make sure your affairs are in order.

I got to see my brother. He flew into Birmingham and my folks picked him up from the airport. I forewarned him they were extra excited to see him so buck up and be prepared. My brother is big ya’ll. When I last saw him he was 17 years old. He ain’t 17 anymore. He gave me the biggest hug ever. But why he got to call me big sis? Geez, both my brother and sister are taller than me. Much taller.

My sister and her brood arrived Saturday evening. In fact, I was home before they got to my house and I worked that night. My sister was so frustrated trying to get to Alabama, because all the planning for my stepfather’s funeral fell on her. I told her the banks were closed and I couldn’t get her bail money if she messed someone up. At this point there were 5 people staying at my house. This is important okay?

The Sunday after they arrived, my sister went to the “country” to talk to the girlfriend. It didn’t go so well. The girlfriend said me and my cousin were starting with her. What the hell was she talking about? Mad because I told the truth in the hospital, byotch please!

Mind you I kept going to my second job and only took off 3 days from my fulltime job. This is important okay?

We were both like, "What the hell?" Just before they left...

Lala wasn’t feeling me at all. She would be screaming and tearing up the den and as soon as I walked in the room she would shut it down. A mess. One evening she was playing with her mom’s phone so I decided to call and when she saw my face she threw the phone down screaming and hollering. A mess. Seriously, if you put her in any vicinity of me she would go to screaming. But things got better eventually.

She sees me, but she ain't acknowledging me. And her stance was do not touch me, lady!

My sister’s stepmom and her oldest daughter arrived on Tuesday. So the number is up to 6 people in my home.

Pat was touched I invited her to stay, but I felt it was what I was supposed to do. I just prayed she wouldn’t work my nerves, because she can worry you to death if you let her. Pat had to be there because in reality, her still being married to my stepfather meant certain things fell upon her to deal with.

The funeral home that was chosen for my stepfather, wasn’t one known by me. And for the record, they were the worst I had ever had the pleasure to deal with. They weren’t like the folks who handled my mother’s, aunt’s or uncle’s funeral. My sister, brother, Pat and my stepfather’s brother had to do all the leg work. All of it. They had to go to the VA to get the flag for the ceremony, because my stepfather retired from the Navy. They had to locate the burial information. The funeral home director was late for the funeral. The notice in the paper wasn’t done to my sister’s specification. They couldn’t do a wake because the funeral home said because they were burying him on a Saturday and to do a wake on the Wednesday prior would cause problems because he was a donor. Bones, tissues, eyes and muscle donor. They told my sister he would be “leaking” before Saturday and they didn’t want that to happen. Mind you, no one could see the body until Friday before the funeral. I felt bad for my sister because I wanted him to look as good as possible. And he did. But the funeral home director was asked by my sister why they cut his beard and they said he didn’t have beard, but his side burns were too long. Liar. I know he had a beard that was absolutely beautiful it was salt and pepper and gorgeous I touched it when I saw him. I hate when folks lie to me. For the record, he was leaking on Saturday. Sighing…

The Thursday before the funeral my sister’s best friend arrived and my sister’s husband had to leave. The count in my home was up to 7. And by this point, Pat wouldn’t stop cooking and filling my refrigerator up with leftovers no one was going to eat. Seriously, by Thursday she was making some intricate dish that I knew I wasn’t going to eat. I do not under any circumstances eat white sauces. No can do. Cheese, which you know I am no fan of. I needed a break from my own damn house. My sister, her friend and I headed to the mall, Wally world and out to get happy hour drinks and eats. My nerves were on edge. When we got back home about an hour or so before Scandal, we were nice and mellow. And I politely told Pat not to cook another damn thing. My refrigerator looked like the bulbs were blown because of all the food in that sucker.

The funeral brought all the cousins together to reminisce about the old days. Why did they remember I hated to go outside? Why? I guess because I did. We (cousins) had to go to my stepfather’s home to try and retrieve any paperwork we could find. However, the girlfriend locked the door. My brother tried to break the door, but we didn’t really want to do that. I noticed a screwdriver on the porch and I ever so quietly popped the lock. When I turned around to let them know we could go in and everyone had their mouths open wide. In shock. I had to start explaining myself. “Look, I don’t do this type thing for a living, but I know how to do it and it ain’t that difficult.” Then they couldn’t stop laughing.

My gorgeous, blessed with the Voice, Niece.

The funeral went well. My sister and brother spoke so well and it was just a moving ceremony. My 18 year old niece sang the gospel song about this old building has a leak and she tore that song up. I was being a G up until that point. You know shades on and no tears. When she hit “that” note. I was done. Shades came off and tears were flowing and wouldn’t stop. I swear “that” sounded like my mama singing. We all said, “Betty Jean showed up at the funeral!” We didn’t have any visitor’s show out as anticipated because we were prepared to deal with the situation. Then we went to the gravesite which is on the church grounds, um, did I mention this was in the country? And let me tell you something, I do not care for men in uniform. Not at all. But, baby when the Honor guard was doing their thing I was in love. Those dudes were precision and they looked good as well. I had to tilt the shades because I didn’t want to miss a thing. And when they shook our hands, I think I may have held their grasp a little too long.

And as we were waiting to go back into the church, The Guy caught up with me. And ya’ll I was just so happy to see him there. To know he cared enough for me to be there for me and my siblings just meant the world to me. For the record, he meet my other family members, who live right here for the first time. I almost felt guilty about lusting after the honor guards. I said almost. Yes, he reads this blog. But he knows what is up.

The Cousins...I am still waiting on the good picture!

We got a picture with all the cousins. We only had one missing and he wasn’t able to make the funeral, but I saw him the weekend before when he came by my second job with his ~~wild~~ kids. They were ~~bad~~ rambunctious, ya’ll. Cute but OMG!

While at the repast, the cousins were cooking up a plan to find some cards and dranks for later. And my cousin was only too happy to oblige. Funerals calm me down when they are over. I just want to sleep. Some folks want to party. And they did.

I love my family but by Saturday I was ready for some quiet and my house to be clean again. Everyone left on Sunday. I washed about 6 loads of linens, clothes and towels. My goodness.

Since the funeral I have been trying to get back to my new normal. The time before the funeral was tense because they held the funeral later than expected and I tend to build up anxiety until it is over. And trying to clear things before my sister left also took time and energy.

Book club outfit...

I am vain...but my smile is beautiful!

Had book club meeting and we had a great meeting and even had an impromptu Dreamgirls movie night. Oh, and everyone enjoyed the book.

Sequestration. I can’t with the government right now. Although folks may not see the pain instantly, some will. My cousin, who works for the BOP, received her furlough letter a week before the deadline. This means I still will not get a cost of living or merit raise. Did I mention we haven’t had any of these since 2008? Did I mention the legislature has calculated some government workers pay has been cut by 1/3rd? I tell folks my check is less than it was 5 years ago.

My vision board has reaped me some wonderful blessings. I continue to review and know all that is on it will come to past when God deems it time. So I am working on my patience.

I need to lose weight. It is becoming a struggle again because they keep changing my blood pressure medicine. Yes, I am on a new one. This time I was given samples so I could gauge my reactions. One med though I just couldn’t take because my heart and mind were in conflict due to the severe reactions one could have. And the day I was supposed to start it I went to my pharmacist and he told me the effects and what happen with his wife I got scared again. He told me I should at least take the sample and see if I have reaction. No can do. I am too allergic to stuff and when you live alone this is alarming. One of the side-effects is you will become light-headed and will faint. No player. Good thing is the other med, which I didn’t have any qualms about taking is working marvelously. I purchased a new BP monitor, which had great reviews and I am ranging from 113/70 to no more 125/70. A couple times I took it right after eating and it was higher, and when I read not to do that I understood why. So hopefully, this works. Next up is to find a new doctor.

I am making smoothies to eat as snacks with spinach, carrots, apples, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, pineapples and green tea. Yummy!

Smoothie central...

I am still exercising at work 4 to 5 days a week. I am back on my Wii in the evenings so I can sleep at night. Insomnia is kicking my but.

You know the time changes this weekend right? I am already over it.

My hair is too long. I am over it. It needs to be cut before the summer. When I was at the hospital trying to retrieve my stepfather’s belongings I looked on the floor as we were walking out and I saw a lock on the floor. Yeah, I pulled it out of my head when I was adjusting my purse. My hair stays in a bun now. Ugh!

The weather here has been down to 28 degrees this week with a high of 72 today. I am over it.

My sister's husband gave the girls balloons...Question how were they supposed to take them on the plane. Question: Why are they still in my living room? I hate popping balloons

I hugged my sister’s husband. You all need to be clapping, we have come a long way, baby.

Seriously, why was my stomach out? My mom, stepfather, sister and me.

My brother tagged me in an old family picture, which was also used in the funeral program for my stepfather. Well, last Friday I looked at the picture again and I noticed my arms were folded, which is a good indicator I am mad about something. When I blew the picture up I was immediately devastated. OMG! My stomach is out. They have posted on FB a half naked picture of me. And to add insult to injury this picture was on the program in a church. I am already going to have to explain things at the Pearly Gates, this just adds to the list. My sister didn’t believe me when I said they were posting child prone, then when she looked at it closer she stated laughing. Hysterically. Why? I didn’t want my stomach out that is why my arms were folded. Dang! My sister calmed down enough to ask did I have an outtie belly button. I don’t now, was my response. SMH!

Seriously, I do not know what to do with myself without Scandal on Thursday night. It doesn’t return until the 21st. Ugh!

JR Ewing is dead. I can’t watch the entire episode. Larry Hagman’s death was hard enough, but to do it twice. I just can’t. (I may need to get some therapy).

My washing machine stop spinning and draining the day my stepfather died and when I say I had a massive meltdown that would be an understatement. But I got it fixed on that Saturday. I was so thankful.

Did I mention my fluorescent lights in the kitchen also went out that Thursday and I had a meltdown that would be an understatement. I was able to get two new bulbs for less than $3 dollars and changed them by myself. I felt like Superwoman.

With all the family staying with me made me realize a few things. I am really particular about how things are in my home. I cussed everyone out in my house the 2nd time I came home from work and the screen door was locked and I had to ring my doorbell to get in. I did. I turned all my lights back on when they turned them off, especially my stadium lighting outside for the thieves. I didn’t realize I had certain bowls or utensils but they found them. I like the bathtub washed out after every use. Every use. I don’t like greasy food. Triple Ginger cookies are loved by more than Lala. Hunny Bunny got in trouble and I babied her up, I must be getting old. Then I told her to go wipe her face because Aunt Nana doesn’t like liquids coming out of edifices on one’s body, because it is nasty. My brother and my sister’s best friend just shook their heads. I am too old for too much change. And my life was disrupted for a full week. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. Family is everything!