Merry Christmas...Randoms...

I know it has been a minute but I have been busy, busy, busy.  I thought when I was no longer a caretaker I would have all this free time, but um, I seemed to have learned the art of finding stuff to do.  Most likely a coping mechanism, but today I actually said I feel happy and that hasn't happened in a long while.  So to regal you through your holiday, I thought I would present to you a present of my ramblings...Cheap gift, but it works for me.  LOL!

• I read a blog this morning and the blogger stated she played the Michael Jackson Experience game until she got musty because it was that serious.  I laughed out loud.  At work.
• One blogger wrote recently that No Hands by Waka Flocka gives her fever especially Wale's verse.  I was so happy to see that because I was always embarrassed that I knew Wale's part and I would be dancing to that stripper song.  Thank you Nerdgirl!
• My sister had a nightmare during the day about me.  See I made all my gifts to my book club members (3 types of cookies, 2 bookmarks).  She says I have put the pressure on her.  Even her boss had to tell her, "Tiffany, you are your own person.  Do what feels right for you and you can't compare yourself to your sister...blah, blah."  I can't help I am fabulous.  Seriously, I am a Virgo so I plan, organize and execute. 
• So why did I text my sister after I finished the bookmarks that if I ever say I am making anything again to get in her car and drive here from Virginia and beat my azz and drive back home.  I was so tired and delirious from that crafting project.  The cookies weren't bad but making them damn Yummers with that chocolate was not the business.  Chocolate every damn where.
• My hair is boring.  I will blog about my 4 years with Sisterlocks next month hopefully by my anniversary. 
• Christmas eve will find me at home in my pjs all day.  I will change them that evening when I take a bath.  I want everyone to know I ain't going no where, I ain't doing anything and I betta not be bothered for any nonsense.
• My book club Christmas meeting was at my house as usual.  At one point, I announced I was not answering the door anymore.  Hell, the meeting starts at 6:30 and these folks were showing up when the wanted to and two showed up at 7:30.  Really?  So rude and inconsiderate.  The food was on point and the decorations were on point.
• My niece told her mother their Christmas tree was cheap.  I laughed.  I don't think my sister found that amusing.
• My oldest niece begged her not to post the picture on Face.Book.
• My cousin posted on my wall he had finished putting up their country tree.  He called it a mess.  I tried to be encouraging and asked him to send me a picture of the tree, but he text me back, "I'd rather not."  Sad.  He did send me a picture and it didn't look bad at all.  Although he said it was leaning and off center.
• Christmas is for the very young and the old. 
• My decorations come down the Monday after Christmas.  I am going to be sleeping off the wine from Christmas day to take stuff down Sunday, but Monday night it will look like Christmas had never visited.
• At my regular coffee shop, one of the older regulars had a brain stroke on last Friday.  I pray he will recover.  I am going to miss him asking me if I was cold, because I never wear a coat.
• Speaking of weather.  Who in the hell pissed off Mother Nature?  Seriously, we aren't having four seasons.  We went from straight summer to actual winter in October.  Excuse me, but in Alabama we do not get winter weather until the end of January or February.  We didn't even have a fall, the poor trees haven't even lost all their leaves. 
• The security guard every evening asks me about my coat.  I don't wear one.  I have a leather one in the car.  I can't drive with it on and the hassle to put it on for 3 minutes is a waste.  So inconvenient. 
• Read my previous post about Mama Nem's, folks have confirmed they are still slow.  Damn, still can't go back yet.
• I love my youngest niece, no really I do, but every time she comes to my house she rearranges the magnets on my refrigerator.  No one asks anymore why, they know.
• I was watching Soul Food a couple weeks ago and wrapping presents.  Well, of course I was having a moment and my cousin, who is like my best friend, G, called and said he was watching it too and no matter how many times he turned away from it he had to watch it.  So we talked through our emotions because it was like looking at our family.  Me and my two cousins are like sisters.  I told G I was not Bird, I don't act like her.  My sister was like, "Who am I the cousin that comes to sleep with the sister's husband?  Hell nawl."  LOL!
• I didn't ask for anything for Christmas, because what I want can't happen.
• Did I mention I was happy today?
• I enjoyed our office Christmas luncheon.  I made my self sick with the lime sherbet and ginger ale punch.  Haven't tried it?  Get it in your life ASAP!
• I took the leftover candy from my meeting to my 2nd job and all the candy was gone in less than 24 hours.  Those kids are sick over sugar.  I mean really I brought it in on Sunday at 5 pm and the majority of the bag was left at closing at 9 pm, but on Monday at 4:30 pm it was gone.  We open at 9:30 am, they are dangerous when it comes to candy.
• I still haven't gotten my dog yet.  Next year.  Really.  I have been too busy for anything else right now.
• My book club member lost her cookies I gave them for Christmas.  She told me two days in a row that she couldn't find them.  In my head, "Chile, what you want me to do about it.  I ain't baking Sh&#!"  I just told her I hope she finds them, she did.
• I haven't purchased any shoes since Black Friday.  That is good for me, but it hasn't been for not trying.  Yeah, I need help.
• I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Black Friday Adventure

Whose idea was it to take the Christ out of Christmas? What do I mean by this statement? Seriously, Black Friday should not start at midnight. Why are folks out at midnight after supposedly giving thanks on Thanksgiving? I mean their food is still being digested and some folks just said F-it and gave up sleep to begin their Christmas shopping.

My Black Friday last year was an adventure, well this year things were different. Why? Because all the damn stores that didn’t open at midnight decided to open at 4 am. Getouttaherewiththatbullshit! When making our shopping plans, it wasn’t about what time a store opened or what items would go quickly, it was about which ones will not make us forget that Christ is part of the word Christmas.

The sales were not the greatest or maybe I didn’t need much because my Christmas gift list is shorter now. Or maybe because I didn’t have my eye on anything I had to have for myself. Except a pair of boots and some Clinique Even Better, this garnered a gift set and a large tote bag. That’s what’s up! I could not be a retail associate during this time, because Belk’s shoe department looked like a bomb had exploded up in there. Shoes everywhere and one couldn’t tell the workers from the shoppers. When we made it to Target, we rushed in for the items we were getting and ended up standing in this line that was shorter than the line some of the other unfortunate shoppers were bamboozled into. In and out, baby! Walmart was calm and cool. Although, I am going to need the workers to know what they have and not lie about shit being sold out when there is a pallet in the front of the store. Lazyasses!


Ladies would you like to know when we finished, 7:40 am. Done. Finis.


On to breakfast and then home we were going, but um, breakfast was an adventure. We decided to try Mama Nem’s for breakfast; you know because it is easy and shouldn’t take too long. We smelled the aromatics cooking upon opening the car door. We were greeted by two hostesses and immediately seated in what use to be the Cracker Barrel. The décor and ambiance were nothing like all the junk one associates with Cracker Barrel; in fact it was warm and inviting. White table cloths baby. Our waitress took our drink order and then returned to our table to say they didn’t have any cranberry juice or Thai tea and the only juice they had was orange. Really? The second day of your opening? Um, we just ordered water. We perused the extensive menu and ordered. After placing our order, I looked around and said to my sister, “No one has any food on their table and they have been open since 7 am.” Second strike. There was a floor manager walking around looking damn lost and lazy. Yeah, I said lazy. And too many servers standing around looking uncomfortable, I guess you would look that way if folks had been waiting on their food for over 30 minutes. It’s breakfast people, not rocket science. Folks started walking out and do you think the floor manager did anything or said anything. When the Kitchen Manager/Chef came in he immediately started wrangling folks because obviously something was wrong. Our waitress apologized numerous times and explained to us what happened. Seemingly, their computer system was malfunctioning. The waitresses would put the orders into the computer and what was seen in the kitchen wasn’t correct. Great times. Really. However, when the head guy came in food finally started coming out of the kitchen. We didn’t get ours until 9 am. And the order wasn’t completely right. My sister ordered the French toast platter and got everything but the damn bacon she ordered and French toast. Yeah, think on that. I got the chicken and waffles and a side of bacon. My chicken had no seasoning on it. No really it was just dredged in some flour and fried. The waffle was okay, but the damn bacon was the business. Yes sir, the bacon was their saving grace. Side bar: There was a lady who ordered coffee, took a sip and left immediately after placing her money on the table. Guess the coffee was cold or nasty. Now mind you the customer was going to order because she ordered food and had spread her napkin in her lap and placed her silverware on the table. When she left one of the servers re-rolled the silverware and placed it back on the table to be reused. You know I was fit to be tied. When a random server passed by my table I explained what took place and she said, ‘Why would she do that?’ looking as perplexed as we were. I responded with I don’t know, but you work with her. The Kitchen Manager/Chef came to each table and apologized for the wait, I wished he had asked how my food was because I would have told him, um for an upscale, classy soul food joint, failure to season the chicken is #epicfail. I told the waitress I would be returning after I think they have worked out the kinks and I wished them the best. I also told her that Montgomery has too many food choices and a bad first impression is a lasting one, and folks will not return. So they needed to get it together and quick. Don’t even ask me about why we were cautioning fraud when we received our credit card slips to sign and it had the name of a pharmacy on it. Seriously, don’t ask. Another side bar: The Kitchen Manager/Chef was good looking and  attractiveness will allow you to forgive most anything.