I am having a bad day...


I'm not having a very good day. Have you ever had one of those days? Today is my day. I woke up on time, but was an hour late for work. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess. So I began my day dragging because I have been working almost 30 days without a day off. The time change also has contributed to my bad mood, depression and feeling some kinda way. So as I took my sweet time getting ready this morning, I pass by one of the guest rooms and there on the dayum curtains is a lizard. Ugh! I HATE LIZARDS, I HATE LIZARDS, I HATE LIZARDS! That just about sent me over the edge. I just stared at that thing and said to myself, I really must not be living right. The last time, heck it could be the same lizard, the thing was in the curtains I asked one of my male cousins to remedy the situation his punk self was like, "Uh, uh I am scared of lizards." Grown man scared of a lizard. My fear is ingrained and I hate them something awful. When spring and summer arrive so do their nasty behinds. (I am really trying to not cuss, but I am just so mad right now!) Not sure how it is going to get out of there, but I have been known to ignore a room for months for fear of an animal. And I will. Of course, one of my female cousins will probably get rid of the dayum thing. My co-worker thought the whole situation was funny. I looked at her with a straight face as she continued to laugh with tears rolling down her face. She thought my whole reaction to the lizards was pure comedy. I am not laughing. I have to go home tonight and the first thing I'll do is look for that dayum lizard.

I think my bad mood started to kick into overdrive yesterday, when I found out one of my friend's father died. Found out after I sent her a text asking how he was doing only to find out hours later he has been dead since Friday.

I also was put in a pissy mood when I found out one of my book club members decided she was going to get together her own group at work to do the Joy to Walk. This pissed me the hell off. Not only is it tacky, but is speaks volumes of what you feel for the group that you have been a member of for 7 years. And get this, in order to register as a group you must have 10 people, she only has 4 folks from her job willing to participate. Good luck with that. This is why I am thisclose to disbanding this book club. Seriously. I am tired of the silliness of a few of these women. And we are walking for our book club member who has battled two rounds of breast cancer. We should be doing it together instead of apart.

I want to disband. I am tired. Been like this for a couple of years, but this last year hasn't been a bad year. We have read some great books, had wonderful discussions and have been encouraging to each other emphasising how strong our bond is, but I am so tired. I put in a lot of work to get things done, because I am extremely organized, only to see folks only half-heartedly reap the benefits of the book club. Honestly, I have outgrown some of my members, not all, but some. I am in a different place in my life and I seek peace. The only reason I haven't disbanded is because of my members. Contradictory, huh? I guess I am not feeling love the love I have put into this group and for folks to slap me in the face like in the paragraph above, irks the hell out of me. I shouldn't take it personally, but I do. I started this book club because I was lead to do it by a higher power. I have watched what folks have gain from it and I have seen the positive things we have done in the community, but I am tired.

I suffer at times from depression. I think everyone at times has a lull in their life where they feel down and exasperated. I know what my triggers are. I must have off time. I must have a vacation. I have been working too long without a sufficient break. I also need some me time as well. The time change didn't help me either. The pain in my right foot isn't helping matters much. Right now nothing seems to be helping.

I go to the Ross Knight Photography blog and get depressed after viewing the most beautiful pictures of weddings and engagements. I love the photos, love how the photographer captures the beauty of the moment. I love the statement the photos make and then I get depressed and cry after every viewing. Love exists.

Maybe I am just angry because on last Friday a member of our legal unit decided to walk a se.x off.ender to my office. That is a no no. I don't talk to sex offenders face-to-face. He comes into my office introducing himself as Dr. so and so. Dayum lie. Made the hair on my arms stand up and I felt nasty the rest of the day.

I ought to be happy I finally upgraded my cell phone to a G1. Yep I am with t.mobile and I ain't going anywhere when I have a plan that is talk anywhere, anytime to anybody for $49.99. It pays to be a loyal customer for 11 years. I do love my new phone. It does cool stuff. It just isn't able to make my day better.

I hate I had to blog my woe is me moment, but I felt like if I didn't, I was going to be even more hell than I have already been today. Plus, I have to go to my second job this afternoon. Seriously, my body is tired. My mind is tired. I can't wait until I wake up tomorrow, because I know this too shall pass...

Hair Update...

I started off March with a little snow and a three day retightening. I did one side one day, the other the 2nd day and did the back the final day. Did pretty good. Got closer to my scalp and felt a sense of accomplishment when I finished. Plus, my head looked good. My consultant was like since I am so independent, I shouldn’t forget her, um not going to happen just yet. My hair isn’t completely locked yet and I need back up at times when problems occur.

With a four week retightening schedule, this is what works best for me. Any longer than that, there will be a problem and it would take me longer to retighten. Problem is, once I retighten one I’ll end up doing a whole section without even trying to. Something about that tool in my hand becomes addictive.

After I retightened, I waited a day and washed my hair and moisturized and soft spiked curled my hair. The curls have lasted for well over a week so that is good. I am enjoying styling my hair, but now I am ready to do a simple braidout. Right now I am looking for a product to give my hair a really nice smell to it, without being heavy. Although I wash my hair every other week, I would like something to use in between times that will give it a smell good aroma. Any ideas will be appreciated. No I don’t spritz my hair everyday. Just don’t, but if I could find that perfect smell, I may.

I don’t have any real hair issues. I still have a few locks that have thin in the middle, but I just don’t seem to worry about them since it is so few of them. Just enjoying the freedom…

Randoms...Again

I am feeling some kinda way today. Not sure what’s up with that. Oh well. I’ll get over it.

I hate meetings. When I worked for a DV agency as a Victim’s Advocate, we met every week and sometimes twice. When were you supposed to be helping clients? Here, we don’t meet as often, but I’ll be damn if I don’t like them.

I am so not a morning person. My cousin stays over some Tuesday nights and Wednesday morning she wants to have full on conversations. I don’t officially wake up until 10 a.m. Seriously, my best sleep comes in the morning. She hasn’t figured out that half the time she is talking I am daydreaming about going back to sleep.

I will not be in anyone’s wedding. Nothing personal, but um, I have put out money on a bridesmaid dress before and I am still waiting on my $65 on a dress I don’t have because the wedding didn’t happen. She is talking wedding again. I hope she goes to the court house. Really, I do.

I had a former worker come to see me on Tuesday wanting his job back. I told him I’d think about it but my no from the previous 3 times seems to be standing. The owner told him to talk with me, coward. He and I discussed this child coming back to work and we both, yeah both of us decided it was a great big NO. Now, I believe in helping the children, but from the very first week he started there had been problems with him failing to show up when scheduled, not knowing when he was scheduled and such. However, my biggest thing was he wasn’t a good worker and he was lazy. I will tell the owner that it is easy to come back to us, but he needs to try somewhere else and get a feel of another environment. We ain’t helping him and he damn sure isn’t helping us. Plus, I don’t need another cook; I need a cashier from the one that was fired on Valentine’s day. Geez!

I’ve stopped watching the news except for the first 6 minutes. Yeah, the media has lost its mind. I did an Editor’s note about it on my book club’s website/newsletter. If it wasn’t for Law & Order, Food Network and HGTV, television would mean nothing to me.

HGTV has a new show about Renovations and it is funny as all out. Folks decide to do their own renovations and they have a budget and a time frame. I find it hilarious because they will plan a week to accomplish a project and of course they either don’t finish it or they go way over budget. The folks go to cussing at each other and crying. What is funny is they would have done really small projects in the past and want to do a project bigger than them and not have the skills to do so or even the proper tools.

I like the song “Blame it On…the Alcohol”. Funny, how I don’t drink much now. Still drink, but no where near intoxication. I have friends and acquaintances who are still drinking heavily at what point in your adult life do you realize having your faculties is more important than being falling down drunk? I kinda miss my drunk memories. Some of them are funny, fun and quite memorable. I like myself sober now.

Rush Limbaugh wants to debate President Obama. Um, for what? He is already the President he doesn’t have to prove anything to you or your political party. Seriously, drugs are bad for your health. (He must be smoking that good, good)!

Can Michael Jackson make a comeback? No really, can he? I mean he says this is the final curtain call. This is it he says! In London. I’ll not see him yet again.

Although I’ll not see Michael, I hope to one day see Prince perform. Then again, since he will not sing the stuff I love (Do Me Baby, Darling Nikki, Head, Sensuality…the provocative stuff) I may not. I have wanted to see him perform since I was 13 years old.

My sister and two other ladies have a blog talk radio show called 3 Chicks on Lit and they interviewed and talked with E. Lynn Harris. Um, good interview, but he told them they could pronounce Basil (a character from almost all his dayum novels) like the spice. I immediately emailed my sister and said dayum lie! He was clear as can be when he told the conference I attended in 2000 Basil was not pronounced like the spice. Well, halfway through the interview he pronounced it not like the spice. I had to laugh, because he was so clear about the pronunciation of the characters name and I have corrected folks ever since.

Hair pics and stories coming up soon…

SEE WHAT MARCH BROUGHT ME!

SNOW, in Montgomery, Alabama