Thursday, January 03, 2008

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to Me...January 9th!



Sometimes I wonder what makes folks do what they do and why they made the decisions they did. I mean we all make mistakes, but, I for one, try to learn from them. Lord only knows I am not perfect nor do I have room to judge anyone.



I have been watching a family member spiral out of control for a minute now. This member is having major problems and is trying to keep them a secret, but their secret may not be exposed, however, it is obvious something in the milk is not clean. It has that swirl which indicates it is about to turn sour. All I can do is pray for them and hope my random sage advice penetrates.



I have some acquaintances who after much observation, I find them too shallow and selfish to even stand to be in the same room with them. Not that they are bad people, but they have a way of presenting themselves in a manner that has their noses in the air. I am not like that. I cannot be like that. I spent the first four years of my life in the housing projects and I never forget where I came from or the times when it was extremely hard for my mama. I can't think of myself better than other folks, so I include them in my circle because they are human beings and deserved to be treated that way instead of charity cases or give folks a reason to say, "I did so and so for so and so." Not me, it is hard to believe I know folks like that.



A friend of mine wrote me from jail. Yep, in jail. In the letter they wrote all I read was self pity and a lack of good judgment. Since I am a friend who doesn't see black and white, I let them know I wasn't surprised they were in jail because when you don't live right and you also make bad decisions this is a consequence. Of course, I was hard on them, but I told them they had the potential to be more than that, but they needed to believe for themselves they are worthy of the best and to do better. They have made their bed, now they have to lie in it.



A family member of mine who has been incarcerated since he was a teenager has yet to learn from his bad decisions. I pray when he is released in 2011, and no that is not a typo, he has truly grown up in prison.



I don't have children and will not have any by choice. I have had time over the last couple of months to notice somethings. Kids are not like they used to be. They are disrespectful, spoiled, ungrateful and they are our future and some of them have me wondering how bleak the future is going to be. I have seen kids talk back to their parents, cuss them out, heck even blow (which in my house was an instant back hand). They get everything they want yet they don't appreciate it. I personally think it is because they don't know how to work for the things they want. Prime example, on my second job I am an assistant manager in a local restaurant. I have been there since it's inception and have received 3 degrees while working there part-time. One of the reasons I still work there was the owner, but he died in July and the other reason is the children who work there. You sometimes you ask why and I did that one day in reference to why I stay there when I don't have to. It is the kids. Some come from homes that are dysfunctional others have never had a person really care about their well being. I have a worker whose parent is bi-polar and although she is an honor student (taking the law portion of the educational track at her magnet school, which is why I probably took to her), she has so much potential, but environment at home is horrible. She wants to live like a normal teenager but she has to make sure her siblings are being taken care of. She wants the extra income in the house so her mother can get her meds, because they are too expensive. When she graduates in 2 years, she will have a difficult decision to make, because she will have to chose to live her life or stay at home and help her mom. I have a young man who loves to work, but he loves to be in church too. He is mannerable, selfless and has goals and potential. I like talking with him and nurturing that which is so prominent in his being. I have another young man whose mother I know very well, she was upset he chose to go to FAMU instead of Auburn. She doesn't think he will be able to make it at the HBCU. I told her, she underestimates her son, because he can assimilate in any circumstance and she should be proud he is getting full scholarship and he made his own decision. Young men need to know how and do make their own decision, especially since we learn from them.


One of my favorite bloggers and at times my muse has retired his blog. Bruthacode doesn't know me from jack, but when I discovered his blog last year I have been hooked. I was like a crack fiend trying to get my daily dose of Bruthacode. His post could be funny, thoughtful, political and he actually could make me shed a tear or two. For a while now he mentioned months ago he was weaning us away from his blog a bit at a time. Last week there was nothing on the blog except his set up, no posts or archives. Then today I go on and he says a final goodbye. He gave us all he could as Bruthacode and there was no other direction for the blog to go in and he basically "sat it down". And I cried. My muse is gone. He will return to the states soon and I wish him safe travels and continued success and blessings.

So what does this have to do with hair? Well, you know I have a muse and sometimes I think about the things around me. My decision to lock my hair wasn't a popular one, but the outcome has been tremendous. So when I go on message boards and read the horror stories or other I don't like my locks posts, I remain quiet because we make decisions and it is up to us to be informed enough to make the right one for ourselves. The thing about blogs are they are one person's opinion about their hair and their life, so shouldn't you use them as the be all and end all for your experience. I can't say it enough, my hair will not be like your hair and vice versa. Heck, today is my loc anniversary - 1 year of being Sisterlocked. And guess what? I may have one or two actual locks. I have curly ends that may never go away, because my hair wasn't as nappy as I always thought it was, probably because of the perms from the 2nd grade until 2004. I am okay with that because baby, my hair is growing, it is healthy and I love it!

It'll lock in its own sweet slow time but until then, I am enjoying the progress and wouldn't change the experience for anything.

Embrace your hair and its progress. Enjoy the road few have traveled and know even with the detours in the road embracing what is naturally yours is truly beautiful.

Pictures to come after I wash my hair. Yeah, I still dread it but guess what, I have the technique down to an hour. Yeah, baby!

What next for my 2nd year? Who knows, but I know I am going to enjoy the ride. Happy SL Anniversary to me....

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4 Comments:

At 2:06 PM, Blogger SistaLocd said...

Happy 1 year Lockversary! don't forget to post pics for us blog stalkers, lol.

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger Cashana said...

One step ahead of ya!

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger Jena Evans said...

Happy One Year anniversary!!!

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger ~Fe~ said...

Happy Anniversary to you, my dear! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your entry; and I want you to know that you are so right about children and the way they are. I was always the one that said I NEVA wanted kids, and became the one with the most. :o) At any rate, I would love to comment on each of the points that you hit, but I would be typing for days. Just know this, just by you being a presence in the teen's lives that you are in contact with, will greatly impact them. It's the little things that we take for granted that really mean the most! Life simply IS all about decisions. I have accepted that for my son, and most importantly, me..

Grace and Peace,
~Fe~

 

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Disclosure: Just so we are all clear any opinions or thoughts made on this blog or site are my own. Comments and statements from third parties may or may not be the opinion of Cashana Musings. I do not get paid to write book reviews or reviews of products or services. All reviews are based solely off my opinion as Cashana of Cashana's Musings. While I may receive review copies of books and even products or services they in no way influence my writing. All items that were received by me for review are disclosed as such. All advertising is in the form of advertisements generated by a third party ad network. Currently, we do not do advertisements.