Monday, August 27, 2007

Do you ever just wonder?

I consume blogs as I consume the many books I read. And sometimes you will come across an entry that makes you wonder and take an assessment of yourself. Now, I read the hair blogs but before them were the author blogs and the other personal blogs out there. I read them and sometimes reading you get a glimpse into their life, and maybe because I am so nosey - I keep coming back to see what has happened since their last post. Sometimes I come back just to make sure that person is okay, because sometimes, I wonder if they really realize how much of their feelings are out there. I know for some of them, they need them to be out there so they can deal with whatever pain they are feeling at the moment. Or what ever happiness they feel at the time.

There is this one blogger who has some beautiful prose on his site, but there was a moment there I was concerned for his well-being because his depression was so dark its shadow was all over his blog entries. I would check back daily to insure he was okay. I mean, I was worried. As time went on, he was able to deal with what was ailing him and make some personal decisions to change his predicament. And reading his entries I was able to feel his struggles, right now he has taken a hiatus and he was aware how his writing on his blog read and he did apologize, but you know what? I think if he hadn't been able to express his darkness he wouldn't have been able to see the light.

I have an author blog that I read, not just for the wonderful words, but he takes great pictures. A couple of months or so ago he reconnected with an old love and boy when you read his blog and viewed his pictures all you could feel was pure, unadulterated love. Shoot, I was jealous. However, the love was not real at least on the other person's side. And now his blog reads of pure hurt. I feel his pain in his entries, even his pictures have taken on a more introspective view. He is so hurt. However, I know with time his entries will return with more color instead of the gray it is now.

I tend to put some personal stuff on this blog and depending on my mood will determine how the entry will read. And sometimes, just writing it down and putting it out there makes me feel better. Do you wonder what others think when they read your blog? To answer my own question, sometimes. However, for me it the ability to write with feelings and own my words and those who read it can enjoy or not, but know I write with honesty and truth.

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At 2:05 PM, Blogger blackrussian said...

I enjoyed this post.

I know exactly what you mean.

I have journaled almost daily for over a decade and I write long letters to friends. If not for those outlets I would not have made it through terrible break-ups, illnesses and deaths - all different forms of loss.

I haven't put most of my very private feelings on my blog because it IS the Internet and there are some parts of my history and present that are very personal and I want to be able to choose who gets to see that part of me.

Though I am as prolific with my poetry as I am with everything else I write, I do not think I will ever post anything I've written on my blog (other than silly mini-rhymes) because all of my REAL poetry just comes from a whole other place - pain, pleasure, passion, disappointment, ecstasy - I always write about my entire RANGE of emotions, but when I write a poem about it, that's when it's REALLY deep.

But I worry about people too, especially when they post about something bad that happened and then they stop posting!

Can you e-mail me the address of the author blog you spoke of - the one with the pictures? I think I might like to add him to my blog roll.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

At 6:05 PM, Blogger Meikmeika said...

I'm astonished with how I've really gotten into reading other's blogs.... When I show my boyfriend the blogs I visit he's always saying I sound like I know the people. And I feel that I do. When I read someone is going on a trip, or going to a concert, or meeting someone new, or just plain anything I so look forward to reading the outcomes or the continuations of so many people's journeys. When I get home from work (or sometimes at work...DOH!) I anticipate reading the updates and the new happenings. It's definitely an addiction!

It's nice to know people can express their feelings in their own way on their blogs. Because in essence it really doesn't matter what other's think of your blog or of their opinions, it's that you're healing yourself through expression. Atleast that's how I view it.

What would we do without blogging these days???

At 9:49 AM, Blogger Cashana said...

Blackrussian - I returned to journaling 2 years ago after a long hiatus. I find it cathartic. Although I wouldn't put anything out here too personal, I express myself as I am feeling so inevitably some personal stuff will be here, but just not too much...LOL!

Meimeika - I think I read the blogs besides the fact I am nosey, because you do feel like you know the person and relish and deal with the happiness and pain. I don't know what I did before there was blogging! LOL!

At 9:47 PM, Blogger dreamangel75 said...

I know what you mean. It is fun to read other people's blog. Reading their blogs give one an insight into their life happenings and such. I think some people use their blogs as a online diary. It is sorta like one, if one chooses to use it as so.

I think that is thoughtful of you to check on the individuals who appear to be suffering depression. I do this from time to time as well (checking people blogs to ensure they are okay).

At 11:15 AM, Blogger Cashana said...

Dreamangel75 - for some it is their personal diary and an outlet to let some feelings out. It is truly fun to read them.

At 7:06 PM, Blogger Sis. RJQueen10 said...

I like this post. When I started reading blogs, I read them from beginning to end. I really took my time with them. I did not want to jump in at the middle and not really not the "flavor" of the author. I was glad that they were already lengthy and established, so I did not have to wait days, weeks, or months for how things resolved themselves. But once I read the end of the blog I felt mixed emotions of joy for completing the blog and sadness because it was over until the next update. I have celebrated with, cried for, and been inspired by others blogs. I am glad they are there. I am thankful for those who stop by my spot and read me and more thankful for those who take a little extra time and let me know they were there by leaving a comment. Feedback is very comforting.



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