Tuesday, March 30, 2010

This is going to be long…

Wow! It has been a minute since I have written on this here blog. I can sum up may lack of posting to one word, LIFE!

Things seem to have gotten overwhelming for me back in November and they are starting to calm down a bit. So I guess I should start at the beginning.

November ushered in the beginning of the holidays. Thanksgiving found me knee deep in cleaning and cooking. Although it was a lovely holiday, I felt beat up because I was trying to juggle too many responsibilities and frankly I couldn't say I was tired enough.

Well as quickly as 2009 had come and almost gone it was time to get ready for Christmas. Do you know how hard it is to get the Christmas spirit when you are dog tired? Plus, as usual I host the Christmas book club meeting. Luckily I had done a thorough cleaning for Thanksgiving so it was a matter of tidying up. However, I procrastinated on everything I had to do leading up to the meeting date, and that includes reading the book. Yep, I was trifling. So the day of the meeting I found myself overwhelmed, tired and mad as hell. I realized friends and family will take your azz for granted if you let them. I guess I let them. Notwithstanding my and others trifling behaviors, my aunt was not feeling well and she seem to need extra attention and as much as I tried to be patient I saw my meeting turning out horribly. Let's just say I waited in the living room for the members in the dark, with only a few folks realizing that I was upset. I really was just mad at myself and frustrated with family. The meeting turned out well, but I realized then I need to take a break from some things because I was too tired for all that was going on in my life.

My aunt was sick in December and in January she had to be hospitalized. And that my friends was the turning point for me. I took a leave of absence from my review group, I stop updating my book club website, and I concentrated on helping my aunt get well. Her situation was difficult for the family and it was I know hard on her. My aunt was in the hospital and rehab from January 4th until she finally came home on February 17th. In between those times she had to be hospitalized 4 times with one time being in the CCU. She went to two different rehab places and we ended up reporting one of the places for their practices and neglect. So yeah for me, nothing was more important than my aunt and her recovery everything else could kick bricks. Hell, I couldn't even write during that time because of all that was going on.

As I mentioned before, my book club would be going on our 10 year Anniversary cruise. Of course I really didn't want to go. I sucked it up and did what I said I would do and booked our cruise. So we fundraised and planned. For the last year, I have even mentioned that I want to disband. I even had visions of myself telling the members on our last dinner on the ship that April would be our last meeting as a book club. Seriously. Well on March 18, 2010 we sailed to the Bahamas. The last thing I said to my cousin when I was leaving and she was telling me to have good time, "You better hope I don't disband." We both laughed. Well it isn't funny anymore. The cruise was lovely; however, there was an undercurrent of tension between a few members and the majority of the members. It was palpable. Even Stevie Wonder could see something was amiss with our group. No one knew what the issue was, but it went totally against the reason for our celebration and the bylaws of the book club. I had three members wanting to get out because of a few other members. I spent a good deal of my cruise sleeping and praying to God to lead me to the path I should follow regarding the matter. Clarity is something that comes at the weirdest moments. It was in my heart not to disband, but to deal with the individual members where the problem lies. I have to take responsibility for my role in the situation because it would not have gotten to this point if I had taken care of the problem sooner. Now, it was an infectious disease that either had to be cut out or it would continue to infect the group as a whole leaving only the infectious skin. So with prayer and guidance, I made a very difficult decision, one I thought I would ever make. I could no longer avoid the truth the same folks had run off many other members. My decision included restructuring the book club and getting back to basics and that is the joy of reading. So whether my group survives another year or two I had to put on my big girl panties and handle things for the survival of the book club. Shyte, I wasn't going to deal with a hostile environment with my book club that I started and have worked tirelessly to insure it survival, positivity and cohesiveness.

I also started a weight management program with my doctor after I had some blood work done and my numbers were ridiculous. Um, it didn't take me long to say oh hell no! I am not going to be that 40 year old black woman dead because she was too lazy to take her health seriously. Shoot, they scared the crap out of me. When I went in the next month, I had dropped 20 pounds. Yeah, I was scared. I have lost 65 pounds so far. I got a lot more to lose, but I feel better and of course I look great too. So I eat properly and I am very conscious of calories and carbs. I drink lots of water and …I now exercise regularly. I mean I work out 4-5 times a week. Mostly cardio. Me and my wii are in love with one another. I just got reacquainted with my elliptical machine as well. Having Sisterlocks has come in handy. Speaking of hair…

My SLs are boring. Yeah my hair is growing, but for a minute there I was losing a lock a month. My roots started to thin due to a change in medication. So I have combined a lot of my locs. To be really honest, I like the fatter ones better. They are stronger and that is the way it should be. My smaller locks require more maintenance because I have to make sure to not have too much new growth. I will upload pictures soon, just not sure when.

I'll be sure to post my 20 Reasons Why You Should Not Go On a Cruise w/Your Book Club and it was done before I had the 21st reason.

How is everyone else doing? I see babies being born, nuptials, relationships and new consultants.

2 Comments:

At 8:45 PM, Blogger Brown ButtahFly said...

Hey girl, glad things have settled down for you. GLad you are taking control of your life. I need to get to that point but it feels like too myuch is going on right now not sure were to start. Anyhow congrats on the weight loss! I don't think your hair is boring.

Hope all is well take care.

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger Cashana said...

Thanks. I am glad someone doesn't think it is boring, b/c it is like watching water boil for me now...

 

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Disclosure: Just so we are all clear any opinions or thoughts made on this blog or site are my own. Comments and statements from third parties may or may not be the opinion of Cashana Musings. I do not get paid to write book reviews or reviews of products or services. All reviews are based solely off my opinion as Cashana of Cashana's Musings. While I may receive review copies of books and even products or services they in no way influence my writing. All items that were received by me for review are disclosed as such. All advertising is in the form of advertisements generated by a third party ad network. Currently, we do not do advertisements.