The Tales From My Eye...Part 1

Taken 2/23/2012 I have been taking pictures of the eye through this process.  I torture my sister with them.  This one is sexy, if I do say so...LOL!

Seriously, WebMD has some useful information, because that site and others gave me an idea of what I would be dealing with, very soon. In fact, sooner than I was prepared for anyway.


Let’s go back to January and my eye appointment. The one where the Dr. very nicely said you have to know what you are looking for otherwise you get the worst case scenario when you read all that info. This after I thought I was getting a detached retina, before my appointment. Floaters in one’s eye after 40 are normal and since my retina was still attached then and my pressures in my eyes were normal, things seem to be going fine.

On February 3, 2012, that evening while on my second job, I noticed that my peripheral view was blocked by a dark shadow. Creepy. But, I still kept up my busy life as usual even when the shadow stayed up until Monday. On Monday, the shadow was no longer dark, but I could actually see through it, although not clearly, I figure I had some fluke and I was recovering. Well, by that Tuesday and still being able to see through the shadow, which had lighten, I decided to just make an eye appointment to be sure, especially since I had been reading the signs of retinal detachment all morning. The nurse when I called seemed to be upset I took so long to make the appointment and admonished me to not ever wait again. Geez!

On Wednesday, February 8, 2012, my eye Dr. saw me that morning and although he tried to play down the situation, I knew. My retina was detaching from my eye. He was surprised at the view of my eye compared to a month ago. In fact, he said that was quick. He said I had gotten to them just in time. Because, the night before was the first time I saw the flashes of light they talk about in the symptoms listed for the ailment. He told me, “No worries, Dr. Massey is one of the best Retina specialists in the city.” What was weird, when they were trying to call Dr. Massey’s office, he was on the line calling them. Yeah, sometimes God’s voice is heard. I was told to go straight to his office. I was also told do not turn my head too fast, sneeze or do anything jostling. My retinal detachment had not gotten to my central vision and they wanted to keep it that way. The type of detachment I had is the easiest to repair and heal from.

Dr. Massey’s office had all these papers for me to sign. Mind you they asked had I eaten anything and of course I hadn’t. They couldn’t be thinking about surgery on this day, right? When I go back to see the doctor after having my eye dilated and having to get the good eye dilated, Dr. Massey called out the issues of the eye and told me I had two holes where the retina was detaching and I had a lot of fluid in my eye. He said, “Tomorrow, we will fix this right on up.” Huh? You are kidding right? I immediately started crying. I was crying because I was not in control of this situation at all. I cried as he explained the procedure and the fact I must be out of work for two weeks. And since I lived alone, I needed to fix about 5 or 6 meals I could put in the microwave because I would only be able to get out of bed every two hours for 5 to 15 minutes only. The hell? My mind at this point was scrambling and thinking about trying to get my affairs in order. I was overwhelmed. Completely. I managed to dry my face and act like a 42 year old, but it still didn’t make me not wish my mama or my aunt were there to help me deal with this. Not once did I think about being blind in my left eye, I was at peace with the situation, because hell I had diagnosed myself back in January and had time to think it would happen and not happen, but it did.

I left Dr. Massey’s office, with my contacts back in and headed to my office to clean off my desk and start making some calls. When I was telling my co-worker the situation I began crying again. Not scared about surgery, but coming to terms that I was not in control of my life. I calmed down again and called my cousin and told her I had a problem and again broke down and cried again. Crying because I had to ask someone for help and assistance and not having control of this situation. I am extremely independent and rarely ask for help, so this was a big thing for me. After she said she would be with me at the hospital and I would be staying with her, a load was lifted off my shoulders and I began to straighten my desk and call the second job and let them know, “Hey, I will not be in for two weeks and I must have known last night because I completed the schedule for 2 weeks.” Yeah, proactive and always trying to be in control of my life. However, sometimes life reminds you who is in control.



To be continued… I limit my computer time because I am still healing.