“I don’t pop Molly, I rock Tom Ford.” Randoms

The picture is random, because I don’t remember if I posted it already and I am just too lazy to look and see.


Happy Belated Independence Day!

I did nothing much on yesterday. First of all, I feel like we are embarking on a Noah’s Ark existence because of the constant rain here. It has rained for a week and it doesn’t look like there is an end in sight. It is overcast and ready to rain right now. So, although I spent Wednesday evening going to Wally World and two of my local grocery stores, it almost was a wrap in me being able to grill my food. So I spent the morning in bed, frustrated and angry about a whole lot of nothing. I finally forced myself from the bed to finish retightening my head because I was too lazy to finish it like I was supposed to this week.

So about 1 pm, the rain stopped and I rain outside to get the coals going and check on my garden. And as soon as I got the coals on fire, I had to abandon ship because it began raining again. So I closed the lid and ran back in the house to fix me some damn dumplings because I was hungry and grilling was looking like a bust. Well, about 30 minutes later the rain slacked to a very light drizzle and I was able to see my coals ashen over and I put my meat on the grill. It wasn’t as hot as I like it, but in the end it was for the best. Everything was cooked low and slow, which created some very moist and tender meat. Yeah, I cooked up a slab of ribs, chicken wings, turkey burgers, turkey dogs, corn and firecracker shrimp.

My grilling in the rain...

So that was my 4th. I stayed home and wanted some ice cream so bad, but I just ate fruit. By the way I was going to grill some pineapple and peaches but the grill just was going too slow for me. Oh well, next time.

I have been making some great smoothies lately with spinach, blackberries, strawberries, peaches, pineapples, ginger and pomegranate juice. Yummy!

My folks are still traveling. My niece and my sister’s husband are driving from VA to Cali this week with a stop in ATL and then a stop in Texas. So far my niece has been driving like a boss.

Remember June's Supermoon...

I also looked cute on that Supermoon Saturday...

I do have some creative cooking spots to post one for Bourbon Chicken and the Dumplings aka Sichuan Wontons, which I devour because they are so good!

Sichuan Wontons

Bourbon Chicken

I need to work on my attitude. Seriously, I ain’t taking it from no one lately and I am letting them know. At manager’s meeting on my 2nd job, I was correcting and basically going off in a polite but over it way during the meeting. I will not allow you to lie on me or give an interpreted version of something I said. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I think I am tired. Did I mention I had to pray hard before going to work that evening?

The Guy made me mad this week. He will not engage in my anger. Sighing…it still doesn’t make me less mad, but it does cause me to come to him with a more level head and not an emotional head.

No I am not PMSing.

My garden it doing a great job of keeping me feed with cucumbers, tomatoes and infrequently Zucchini.

I didn't realize I had a Zucchini until I saw this one and it was huge.  Sauteed with some onions and it was great. Those suckers are hard to see while growing, especially in my jungle garden!

My Red Hybrid Tea Rose is dead. It gave me one of the most beautiful blooms of the season early on and then it just started to die. I am glad I took pictures of it, next year I will plant a new one.

I didn’t plant enough flowers this year because of all the travel. I haven’t been able to make a bouquet at all this year.

We are in uniforms on my 2nd job and the shirts are so hot I feel like I am going to spontaneously combust.

Yes, I downloaded the Jay Z Magna Carta Holy Grail app and then the album. I am cheap and if having a Samsung Galaxy 3 garners me free stuff I am on it. So why did I wait up until midnight east coast time to try and download the album? And why didn’t it work? I went to sleep and woke up about 1:30 am and tried again and it still didn’t work. Ugh! Something told me to check the reviews and sure enough the large volume of interest crashed the damn thing or something. Anyway, when I woke up at 6 am to grill and couldn’t grill, I downloaded it then. Then being an ungrateful ass, I was mad I couldn’t play it on my music player. Well hours later I learned I needed to restart my phone and it would be there and it was. And my verdict? I like it there are several tracks I immediately liked because of the beats, but the more I listen the lyrics are very telling. Seeing the behind the scenes of the making of the album was also a bonus. So yeah, my ratchet side prevailed and I have Jay Z’s new album. What? I didn’t get compensated to say this either and getting it free was done for 1 million people. This is my opinion.

I need a vacation. I have been extremely tired this week and it is so strange to me to be so tired when I am normally going, going and going. I had a headache for 3 days straight not sure why and no my blood pressure is 120/74 average. I think I need some sleep and probably need to stay out of the garden because my allergies require extra meds.

I didn’t see Dark Girls or the BET Awards. Seems both were topics during a week of so much drama and loss of rights. Sighing…

I am currently reading Decadence by Eric Jerome Dickey for book club. The first couple of chapters started slow, kinda like Pleasure but the pace has picked up. I want to say more, but some of my members read this blog and I don’t want to do any spoilers.

RIP Francis Ray. She was one of the first African-American romance writers I enjoyed. I met her a few times and we had a good conversation at one of the NBCC about the opening pages of Eric Jerome Dickey’s Genevieve. Prayers for her family.

I still haven't seen the entire Being Mary Jane movie, I keep catching it during the last hour.  Da hell?  And what I saw was quite intriguing.

I am back watching Catfish.  This week's episode was a mess.  They were doing the most.  The guy that got Catfished, was angry at the other guy but he knew he had been lying to him.  I think he really was just angry at himself for his lack of self-esteem.  Next week should be interesting too...

To all the Gladiators out there, Kerry Washington pulled a Janet Jackson and got married on ya'll and you had to find out from the press.  I ain't mad at her because just be cause you are a celebrity doesn't mean you shouldn't have some kind of privacy in your life.  I know I was surprised.

I have been invited to a birthday party and the attire is dressy casual, but the colors are cream, white and red.  I don't wear none of those colors.  We shall see because the way my bank account is set up...I ain't buying a gift and a dress.  Why do I feel some kinda way about that, though?

The Trayvon Martin case...when it is over I will post about it.

I have no plans this weekend except trying to get some rest and get rid of some of this attitude.  Whoosah!  Enjoy your weekend...

Carson is driving...or he thinks he is...Which will be great for the clubs...

 

Lala and my sister.  She smiling right here, but Lala does the most...



"If You Want Me, Earn Me! ...Randoms

Red Hybrid Tea Roses

Scandal

Last week...wine on deck and tissues...

Whew! Scandal came back from its 3-week sabbatical to pull our emotional strings and having us scratch our damn heads. This week’s episode was one of those oh shyte moments! Did he really choose her? Really? And in the back of my mind there are some jump-offs, side-piece chicks, mistresses or whatever thinking they are in the game now. As I come from a family of adulterers male and female, let me be the first to tell you, Scandal is fiction and in real life that leaving the wife for the mistress doesn’t happen often or at all. So…don’t go getting you some long-stem wine glasses to celebrate, because you will get your feelings hurt. Next week is the season finale and frankly I am scared for Olivia because this whole scandal has the potential to upend everyone and everything. Oh, but oh do we love the drama. At least this week I wasn’t sitting in bed with tears rolling down my face. I was an emotional wreck last week.

Can Harrison get a love interest? Damn! I ain’t gonna like her anyway because it won’t be me. But still!

Part-time Job Woes

I need peace in my life at all times. And when there is an unsettling of my peace, I don’t like it one bit. It is getting closer to the summer and these kids do not want to work. Calling off for insane reasons. I don’t know about you, but I do not lie about a family member’s health. Will not do it. Some of my college kids are coming back next week so maybe we can attract a better applicant. Seriously, this guy turned in an application last week high as a kite and smelling aromatic if you catch my drift. Luckily, I was there to intercept it and write NO! on it.

Book Club

We had a wonderful meeting last Saturday. We are now in our 14th year as a book club. And that is a big accomplishment when you have a group of diverse and strong-minded women.

This year we have decided besides reading, we would have our bonding this year over getting healthy together. We are planning on working out together, sharing healthy recipes and motivating each other to be as healthy as we can. You know some folks are already making up excuses of why they can’t exercise. Like I say, they are just excuses, if you want to get healthy, you will get healthy. It is truly a mind thing. A couple of us are on Myfitness Pal, which is helping me tremendously because ya’ll know I am competitive. LOL!

Our meeting was also our business meeting where we go over the books for the year and other plans whether they are community service, bonding or issues the book club may be facing. For the most part, since I purposely started focusing mainly on the books and not fundraising things have been going marvelously. We brought in 3 new members back in 2011. Of the three, only one has truly made herself at home with our group. One unfortunately became a caretaker for her mother which virtually made it impossible for her to leave her mother alone anymore. And the other one…sighing. Part of being in a book club is reading and coming to the meeting. This other member only made it to two meeting this past year. So I had to do what always dread doing and that is confronting the member about attendance and commitment. After the incident in 2010, you can understand my reluctance with dealing with situations like this, but I learned in 2010 not dealing with the situations makes everyone unhappy and we do not want that. Hopefully, she will continue to be a part of us but do so with a true pledge of commitment.

My hair is too long...

Dark mess, can't even see the outfit. SMH!

Working Out and Eating

So I have been getting it in this week working out. Sweating my hair out and everything. I even started back doing Wii Zumba I guess I had forgotten how much fun it was. I also did this challenge where you do jumping jacks, burpees etc. Man, that mess hurt, but oh did I feel good doing them. Frankly, I was tired of the treadmill and elliptical. So change is good.

I also found by putting my calories into the Myfitness Pal app keeps you on top of things. I found I was going over my sugar content some days. Not necessarily from sugar itself but from the fruit I snack on. So it gives you gauges to see where you need to make some improvements. Next week I am reducing my caloric intake.

Hair

I emailed my Consultant a couple of weeks ago because my cousin had a friend contemplating getting “kinky twists”. I don’t care how many times I tell her azz I have Sisterlocks she can’t remember it for nothing. I had my Consultant laughing about that one. Anyway, I told her I needed to see her anyway because I need my hair cut. She laughed at me ya’ll. Laughed! This isn’t funny. I can’t wear my hair down because it is too long and I have to be careful not to let my purse pull a lock out of my head. I can’t style it much anymore because it is too long. I really only what an inch or two cut so I can wear flexi-rod styles and soft spike styles. Geez! I even sent her a collage of my hair pictures and she still isn’t budging. Sighing…

Thick and too long...

Children

My niece sang the national anthem at her school’s last pep rally and she did that! I swear I heard my mama’s voice.

Hunny Bunny and I had a great conversation about her mom and Zumba. She said it is Hilarious to see her mama trying to do the steps.

Lala is on video shaking her head no to coming to Alabama to see me. Told you, that child doesn’t like me. LOL!

Lala with her two-strand twists.  Why does she look like she is 4 years old, instead of 1?

Carson had his 2nd birthday party last Saturday. That baby is growing. Had his muscles showing and everything. He is so club ready!

Happy 2nd Birthday Carson, my club partner!

Garden

My garden is doing fine. The weather here has been off and on raining for most of the week and this weekend is forecast for more of the same. Yet, the seedlings and plants are growing. But my yard guy is going to kill me. See, what had happened…I purchased some weed & grass killer so when I put together my raised garden I sprayed all the weeds around the garden bed and in the backyard. Yeah, I got a lot of brown grass. I didn’t think it would kill the grass, grass. I thought it would kill the wild crazy weeds and clover and the weird grass. When he sees my back yard he is going to be mad!

Resilient Roses...

Lettuce...

This was taken on Sunday, wait until you see this week's picture.  Amazing the growth!

These are the Geraniums I planted in 2011 and look at them now.  Um, yeah that Peace Lily is struggling...



Graduations & Traveling

The first graduation trip is this month. We are only going to Atlanta for an overnight. I almost cancelled out of it due to some family issues, but my sister made me feel guilty saying my niece was disappointed I wasn’t coming and she wants to see her “Aunt Nana”. I called bullshyte on the ploy, but I am praying and will be going. I am going to need ya’ll to pray otherwise you may see me on the news. Real talk.

Next month is time for Virginia Beach. 13 hours in a vehicle. You know what? Let’s not even deal with this right now. My anxiety is picking up.

Randoms

The pictures of my brother in his chef hat and coat were sent to me by his girlfriend. On that day, I was in a good place and didn’t curse her out. I am a work in progress. I don’t know this woman and I am private about my number and address. She is my brother’s girlfriend, she is nothing to me. My brother knows why I feel the way I do. And looking at how things went down with his father, I would hope he wouldn’t want to be in the same situation. Seriously, who sends or calls a family member of their boyfriend they have never met? I was nice the other day, but today…God is still working on me.

I have 4 Creative Cooking post scheduled…thank goodness.

God chin-checked me last week. I heard Him loud and clear. Humbled me down. I am truly grateful and blessed.

Last week my back was killing me, this week I pulled a muscle in my calf. I Flex-all it and wrapped it and soaked in Epsom salt, the devil was not going to keep me from exercising.

My co-worker was all upset yesterday because she had two grey hairs sticking up Alfalfa style. She said she didn’t even know she had them. She said she blends the grey into her hair so no one will see them. She asked me if I had seen the grey in her hair. I started laughing and said, “Um, I see the grey in your hair all the time. You trying to hide it? It ain’t working. I just don’t say anything, because of all the grey in mine.” Then I laughed until I was crying, because she was so outdone. She was so upset, she went home early. LOL!

The Guy has the sexiest salt and pepper goatee ever and one day he was joking about shaving it off. I got mad, with a quickness. That is My goatee and he shall not shave it…LOL!

My sister’s husband says she needs anger management.

I have been daydreaming about a real camera. You know a Canon Rebel. Sighing… Unfortunately, I have two other major purchases before I can even think about it. All I know my Creative Cooking posts would be majorly improved with the proper pictures. And my outfit shots wouldn’t look like dark blurs.

Sometimes I get really sad thinking about missing my Aunt. Then I think about my Uncle. In fact, last week I swear I smelled him in the den and instead of being scared to death, I felt protected. (No I am not crazy!) I also realize at 43 years old more people will be dying around me and I am not sure how I will handle it. Each death feels different, but they all leave this hollowness in my heart. And then the sadness dissipates because they are in a better place. I guess all this comes to mind because I wonder how well my sister and brother are managing their grief. Because I know it was well over a year before I was able to not cry every month about my Aunt.

RIP – Chris Kelly of Kris Kross.

Fantasia has a stylist and she looks Great!

Stars behaving badly. Did you know Billy the Exterminator was arrested and since plead guilty to the possession of synthetic marijuana? Lawd, I can hear his mama hollering about that now. And Reese Witherspoon, she got beside herself didn’t she? Teen mom, Farrah and her s.ex tape, seriously? Has MTV taken that show off yet? I despise it. I don’t know if this is a celebrity behaving badly but Martha Stewart is doing online dating…Wow! American Idol with Minaj and Carey is it working? I haven’t watched the show in many years. I even stopped watching the auditions. I am over AI.

My supervisor asked what was for breakfast this morning and I said oatmeal and turkey bacon. He looked at me so seriously and said, “That doesn’t sound good at all!” And laughed. I had to laugh because folks can’t get with my breakfast meals. I love oatmeal and cream of wheat.

Things that have made me Happy this week:

My niece asking my advice on her prom shoes. Seriously, she loves shoes as much as me.

My family and The Guy.

Having a real belly laugh with my co-worker.

My flowers and veggies growing in their containers.

My roses coming back with a bang.

God’s grace…

This is my favorite picture I took this weekend!

 

Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! For a Happy Weekend!

Rambling My New Normal...Randoms

I am back…I hope. You may want to grab a cold one or a hot drink because this sucker is long. Really long. I have tons of pictures and lots to say. I am reminded I must not ever take such a long break from blogging.


First, I would like to thank those who offered condolences for the loss of my stepfather. I am sorry I didn’t respond back, but as you can imagine things during this time were stressful and exhausting. I saw them and I do appreciate the time you took to respond.

So let’s begin the randoms and ramblings back to that week. My stepfather was in the hospital five days before my sister even knew he had been hospitalized for a ruptured appendix. When she found out on Tuesday evening she called me and I in turn called his hospital room. He told me what happened and then I admonished him for not letting his family know because he has a daughter in California and his son is in Virginia Beach. My stepfather loved to laugh and even though I was giving him the business he was laughing. He even told me to stop making him laugh because it made his stitches hurt. I told him I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it to the hospital but I was sending my cousin over to check on him. He said, “Shana, I appreciate you just calling and checking on me and that is enough for me.” Little did I know…

I implore you to make sure you have business in order. Make sure you have a will and make sure folks know what your final wishes are, because without that information things can get messy. My stepfather’s affairs were messy. He was legally separated from his wife, but he had a girlfriend who lived with him. I was the one at the hospital irked the officials were ignoring me and my stepfather’s brother to talk to the girlfriend but she told them she was his wife. My words, “He has a wife, but she lives in Virginia Beach. She will be calling so make sure you give her the information she requests.” Talking about some common-law shit. I wasn’t having it and when things went down, his first daughter had to be the one to sign papers and the girlfriend…never mind. Make sure your affairs are in order.

I got to see my brother. He flew into Birmingham and my folks picked him up from the airport. I forewarned him they were extra excited to see him so buck up and be prepared. My brother is big ya’ll. When I last saw him he was 17 years old. He ain’t 17 anymore. He gave me the biggest hug ever. But why he got to call me big sis? Geez, both my brother and sister are taller than me. Much taller.

My sister and her brood arrived Saturday evening. In fact, I was home before they got to my house and I worked that night. My sister was so frustrated trying to get to Alabama, because all the planning for my stepfather’s funeral fell on her. I told her the banks were closed and I couldn’t get her bail money if she messed someone up. At this point there were 5 people staying at my house. This is important okay?

The Sunday after they arrived, my sister went to the “country” to talk to the girlfriend. It didn’t go so well. The girlfriend said me and my cousin were starting with her. What the hell was she talking about? Mad because I told the truth in the hospital, byotch please!

Mind you I kept going to my second job and only took off 3 days from my fulltime job. This is important okay?

We were both like, "What the hell?"  Just before they left...

Lala wasn’t feeling me at all. She would be screaming and tearing up the den and as soon as I walked in the room she would shut it down. A mess. One evening she was playing with her mom’s phone so I decided to call and when she saw my face she threw the phone down screaming and hollering. A mess. Seriously, if you put her in any vicinity of me she would go to screaming. But things got better eventually.

She sees me, but she ain't acknowledging me.  And her stance was do not touch me, lady!

My sister’s stepmom and her oldest daughter arrived on Tuesday. So the number is up to 6 people in my home.

Pat was touched I invited her to stay, but I felt it was what I was supposed to do. I just prayed she wouldn’t work my nerves, because she can worry you to death if you let her. Pat had to be there because in reality, her still being married to my stepfather meant certain things fell upon her to deal with.

The funeral home that was chosen for my stepfather, wasn’t one known by me. And for the record, they were the worst I had ever had the pleasure to deal with. They weren’t like the folks who handled my mother’s, aunt’s or uncle’s funeral. My sister, brother, Pat and my stepfather’s brother had to do all the leg work. All of it. They had to go to the VA to get the flag for the ceremony, because my stepfather retired from the Navy. They had to locate the burial information. The funeral home director was late for the funeral. The notice in the paper wasn’t done to my sister’s specification. They couldn’t do a wake because the funeral home said because they were burying him on a Saturday and to do a wake on the Wednesday prior would cause problems because he was a donor. Bones, tissues, eyes and muscle donor. They told my sister he would be “leaking” before Saturday and they didn’t want that to happen. Mind you, no one could see the body until Friday before the funeral. I felt bad for my sister because I wanted him to look as good as possible. And he did. But the funeral home director was asked by my sister why they cut his beard and they said he didn’t have beard, but his side burns were too long. Liar. I know he had a beard that was absolutely beautiful it was salt and pepper and gorgeous I touched it when I saw him. I hate when folks lie to me. For the record, he was leaking on Saturday. Sighing…

The Thursday before the funeral my sister’s best friend arrived and my sister’s husband had to leave. The count in my home was up to 7. And by this point, Pat wouldn’t stop cooking and filling my refrigerator up with leftovers no one was going to eat. Seriously, by Thursday she was making some intricate dish that I knew I wasn’t going to eat. I do not under any circumstances eat white sauces. No can do. Cheese, which you know I am no fan of. I needed a break from my own damn house. My sister, her friend and I headed to the mall, Wally world and out to get happy hour drinks and eats. My nerves were on edge. When we got back home about an hour or so before Scandal, we were nice and mellow. And I politely told Pat not to cook another damn thing. My refrigerator looked like the bulbs were blown because of all the food in that sucker.

The funeral brought all the cousins together to reminisce about the old days. Why did they remember I hated to go outside? Why? I guess because I did. We (cousins) had to go to my stepfather’s home to try and retrieve any paperwork we could find. However, the girlfriend locked the door. My brother tried to break the door, but we didn’t really want to do that. I noticed a screwdriver on the porch and I ever so quietly popped the lock. When I turned around to let them know we could go in and everyone had their mouths open wide. In shock. I had to start explaining myself. “Look, I don’t do this type thing for a living, but I know how to do it and it ain’t that difficult.” Then they couldn’t stop laughing.

My gorgeous, blessed with the Voice, Niece.

The funeral went well. My sister and brother spoke so well and it was just a moving ceremony. My 18 year old niece sang the gospel song about this old building has a leak and she tore that song up. I was being a G up until that point. You know shades on and no tears. When she hit “that” note. I was done. Shades came off and tears were flowing and wouldn’t stop. I swear “that” sounded like my mama singing. We all said, “Betty Jean showed up at the funeral!” We didn’t have any visitor’s show out as anticipated because we were prepared to deal with the situation. Then we went to the gravesite which is on the church grounds, um, did I mention this was in the country? And let me tell you something, I do not care for men in uniform. Not at all. But, baby when the Honor guard was doing their thing I was in love. Those dudes were precision and they looked good as well. I had to tilt the shades because I didn’t want to miss a thing. And when they shook our hands, I think I may have held their grasp a little too long.

And as we were waiting to go back into the church, The Guy caught up with me. And ya’ll I was just so happy to see him there. To know he cared enough for me to be there for me and my siblings just meant the world to me. For the record, he meet my other family members, who live right here for the first time. I almost felt guilty about lusting after the honor guards. I said almost. Yes, he reads this blog. But he knows what is up.

The Cousins...I am still waiting on the good picture!

We got a picture with all the cousins. We only had one missing and he wasn’t able to make the funeral, but I saw him the weekend before when he came by my second job with his wild kids. They were bad rambunctious, ya’ll. Cute but OMG!

While at the repast, the cousins were cooking up a plan to find some cards and dranks for later. And my cousin was only too happy to oblige. Funerals calm me down when they are over. I just want to sleep. Some folks want to party. And they did.

I love my family but by Saturday I was ready for some quiet and my house to be clean again. Everyone left on Sunday. I washed about 6 loads of linens, clothes and towels. My goodness.

Since the funeral I have been trying to get back to my new normal. The time before the funeral was tense because they held the funeral later than expected and I tend to build up anxiety until it is over. And trying to clear things before my sister left also took time and energy.

Book club outfit...

I am vain...but my smile is beautiful!

Had book club meeting and we had a great meeting and even had an impromptu Dreamgirls movie night. Oh, and everyone enjoyed the book.

Sequestration. I can’t with the government right now. Although folks may not see the pain instantly, some will. My cousin, who works for the BOP, received her furlough letter a week before the deadline. This means I still will not get a cost of living or merit raise. Did I mention we haven’t had any of these since 2008? Did I mention the legislature has calculated some government workers pay has been cut by 1/3rd? I tell folks my check is less than it was 5 years ago.

My vision board has reaped me some wonderful blessings. I continue to review and know all that is on it will come to past when God deems it time. So I am working on my patience.

I need to lose weight. It is becoming a struggle again because they keep changing my blood pressure medicine. Yes, I am on a new one. This time I was given samples so I could gauge my reactions. One med though I just couldn’t take because my heart and mind were in conflict due to the severe reactions one could have. And the day I was supposed to start it I went to my pharmacist and he told me the effects and what happen with his wife I got scared again. He told me I should at least take the sample and see if I have reaction. No can do. I am too allergic to stuff and when you live alone this is alarming. One of the side-effects is you will become light-headed and will faint. No player. Good thing is the other med, which I didn’t have any qualms about taking is working marvelously. I purchased a new BP monitor, which had great reviews and I am ranging from 113/70 to no more 125/70. A couple times I took it right after eating and it was higher, and when I read not to do that I understood why. So hopefully, this works. Next up is to find a new doctor.

I am making smoothies to eat as snacks with spinach, carrots, apples, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, pineapples and green tea. Yummy!

Smoothie central...

I am still exercising at work 4 to 5 days a week. I am back on my Wii in the evenings so I can sleep at night. Insomnia is kicking my but.

You know the time changes this weekend right? I am already over it.

My hair is too long. I am over it. It needs to be cut before the summer. When I was at the hospital trying to retrieve my stepfather’s belongings I looked on the floor as we were walking out and I saw a lock on the floor. Yeah, I pulled it out of my head when I was adjusting my purse. My hair stays in a bun now. Ugh!

The weather here has been down to 28 degrees this week with a high of 72 today. I am over it.

My sister's husband gave the girls balloons...Question how were they supposed to take them on the plane.  Question:  Why are they still in my living room? I hate popping balloons

I hugged my sister’s husband. You all need to be clapping, we have come a long way, baby.

Seriously, why was my stomach out? My mom, stepfather, sister and me.

My brother tagged me in an old family picture, which was also used in the funeral program for my stepfather. Well, last Friday I looked at the picture again and I noticed my arms were folded, which is a good indicator I am mad about something. When I blew the picture up I was immediately devastated. OMG! My stomach is out. They have posted on FB a half naked picture of me. And to add insult to injury this picture was on the program in a church. I am already going to have to explain things at the Pearly Gates, this just adds to the list. My sister didn’t believe me when I said they were posting child prone, then when she looked at it closer she stated laughing. Hysterically. Why? I didn’t want my stomach out that is why my arms were folded. Dang! My sister calmed down enough to ask did I have an outtie belly button. I don’t now, was my response. SMH!

Seriously, I do not know what to do with myself without Scandal on Thursday night. It doesn’t return until the 21st. Ugh!

JR Ewing is dead. I can’t watch the entire episode. Larry Hagman’s death was hard enough, but to do it twice. I just can’t. (I may need to get some therapy).

My washing machine stop spinning and draining the day my stepfather died and when I say I had a massive meltdown that would be an understatement. But I got it fixed on that Saturday. I was so thankful.

Did I mention my fluorescent lights in the kitchen also went out that Thursday and I had a meltdown that would be an understatement. I was able to get two new bulbs for less than $3 dollars and changed them by myself. I felt like Superwoman.

With all the family staying with me made me realize a few things. I am really particular about how things are in my home. I cussed everyone out in my house the 2nd time I came home from work and the screen door was locked and I had to ring my doorbell to get in. I did. I turned all my lights back on when they turned them off, especially my stadium lighting outside for the thieves. I didn’t realize I had certain bowls or utensils but they found them. I like the bathtub washed out after every use. Every use. I don’t like greasy food. Triple Ginger cookies are loved by more than Lala. Hunny Bunny got in trouble and I babied her up, I must be getting old. Then I told her to go wipe her face because Aunt Nana doesn’t like liquids coming out of edifices on one’s body, because it is nasty. My brother and my sister’s best friend just shook their heads. I am too old for too much change. And my life was disrupted for a full week. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. Family is everything!

The siblings together after 18 years under one roof.

Enjoy your weekend. I promise to come back with less rambling and more concrete blogs soon.

Funeral look...

Just because Carson is wearing his clubbing outfit I got him for Christmas.  Too Cute!

Lala looking like she is 2 instead of 1 years old.  Seriously?

Will be back...

Sorry I haven't been posting, but on Thursday my stepfather died unexpectedly.  And since my sister and her brother were out of state, I had to go to the hospital and find out what was going on when my stepfather took a turn for the worse.  Do you know how hard it is to tell your siblings their father has passed?  Anyway, after over 17 years my siblings and I are under the same roof, but I sure wish it wasn't due to these circumstances.

I will be back when things return to normal...

I am still here...

I am still alive. Just haven’t had much to blog about because some stuff is just too dang personal and I have to protect the innocent and so forth. I always feel guilty when I fail to blog, but I haven’t been doing much lately. And since it is October…it is time to do a deep cleaning of the house and get ready for…you guessed it…the holidays. And since my sister has plans to be here this year with all her children and I am hoping my brother will at least make an effort to see his family after such a long absence.  I need to make sure all the rooms are ready for guests. You know wash linens, spruce up the rooms and get the guest suite immaculate. Only problem, no one wants to sleep in there. Sighing…someone will have to. Anyway…


Today will make 2 years since my aunt passed away. I approached it this year different from last year. Last year I had a mini breakdown, this year the sadness is still there, but it is coupled with knowledge she is in a better place and as difficult as it seemed to move on, we have been able to. I think about her all the time and miss her tremendously, but knowing she is no longer suffering gives me understanding and peace.

I will be back this week with a long Jamaican story and a recipe…Until…

I wish I had the words...

My prayers to MrsTDJ, one my favorite bloggers, a frequent commenter and blog friend.  She lost her husband on Saturday.  On her site she gives you links of their love story.  So take some time and read them and keep her and her family in your prayers.

I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE POOR RANDOMS…





Well it is February and I am still trying to figure out where the hell January went.

The temperatures are unseasonably warm. We are going to hell aren’t we?

I am in love with Pinterest, but I do not like my information being posted on FB. I am not a narcissist and I do not want or need for folks to know my every move. Really, I don’t.

On the 2nd job I must hire one person every week for the next 6 weeks. How about the owner didn’t remember telling me this last week. Really? No pressure. Problem is the applications don’t look like much of anything. I really want folks to tell them to not waste our paper. But, we can’t.

RIP Don Cornelius. Soul Train line anyone?

RIP Etta James. At last…♫

Did you see and hear President Obama singing Let’s Stay Together?…Um, Al Green has been in my life a long time and most of his songs have a perplexing hold on me. Blame my mama for playing that 8 track to death. Yes, I said 8 track.

Firing someone is never fun or comfortable. I do not take pleasure in doing so.

We finally have a cupcake shop here. Actually, we have two, but I only patronize one. Cupcakes by Tish. OMG! Her cupcakes are amazing. I need to post my picture and reviews of all the cupcakes I have tried. Don’t worry, I eat only half. But they are really worth it. The other cupcake place is a chain and for me a place where I know they are making the cupcakes every morning fresh and the recipes are her own and she is a sista to boot, makes me want to spend my money there.

Chocolate Pomegranate...Um, um

 

I just finished reading our book club book for February. Just Wanna Testify by Pearl Cleage. Why am I still scratching my head?

Speaking of head, the reason I am scratching it is because I really need to wash it. Someone shame me into washing my hair immediately. In fact, just come help me wash it.

Ridickulous of RHOA will be here tonight for a show. I asked my sister should I try to go and her azz, was like, “Hell, yeah!” Um, that is a negative I am over strippers and I am really not into seeing a dude do himself. Just nasty. Ugh!

Hunny Bunny is having her tonsils and adenoids removed next week. Ya’ll pray for her. And pray for her mama who seems to think 2 weeks is entirely too long for her to be out of school. Yeah, pray for her mama. She is still trying to figure out why if this is outpatient surgery why does she have such a long recuperation time. I tried to explain most surgeries are outpatient now and really hospitals generate more germs. Your home is cleaner.

The baby, Lala has her own personality. Really she does.

This is a leave me alone pose.

 

Um, who is in the Superbowl? Just kidding I know.

Eddie Long, King? Really. Something is really wrong with the whole premise.

The title comes from the mouth of Romney. These Republican candidates say the darnedest things.

I plan to have a peaceful, although I am working weekend. No cooking. Washing my hair. And rest. Enjoy your weekend!

Post Grieving Randoms...

I would like to thank Ernessa T. Carter, author of 32 Candles, for writing a story that has helped me navigate these gray days by putting a smile on my face and allowing me to laugh out loud.

These last few weeks have been surreal. It is hard to accept my aunt is no longer here. I have spent the last 5 years caring for a woman who finished raising me. Those five years are nothing and cannot adequately repay her for all she has done for me. Even though I cry every day, I smile too because in those years she was sick I managed to make her laugh and smile and I hope with all my heart that I conveyed to her everyday how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Although I lost my mother at 14 years old, she was my other mother and her love is what I have to cherish as I try making my life normal again. It is so hard. However, I use my other anonymous blog to deal with my grief and I don’t want folks over here crying and such, so I have some randoms for ya:

• “I really am not that nice.” This is what I told my cousin when he finally made an appearance the Saturday my aunt went to be with the Lord. Folks were supposed to be at the house at 1:00 pm and they didn’t show up until almost 4:30 p.m. Really? I was still in my clothes I had slept in from the day before. So I was in danger of having to be the funkiest hostess, literally.
• Black folks can we give the family more than chicken, cake, pies and sodas? Don’t get me wrong the first day or so it was great, but um, the sodas can touch our ceiling, the chicken was so overwhelming you know some ended up in the garbage can and the cakes threatened to ruin my better eating mojo.
• Thanks to the folks who brought over breakfast food, fruit trays, sandwich trays and wine who thought outside the box, we appreciate it.
• Overheard, “That is the No-No cake.” This was a pound cake that was heavy as a brick and only tasted a little bit better than one.
• “You are not wearing stockings.” No.  If you all would shave your legs you too, could be comfortable.
• Those who know me know that I don’t do well with crowds and lots of people around me. I can stand it for a little while, but eventually the fake smile starts to hurt my face and I am irritated because I feel my space is being encroached upon, so I had a window during this time. Even my aunt understood that about me. Too many folks and you will look up and I am in my room in the bed reading, watching television, on the computer or playing games. My window closed quickly at times, which means I am non-responsive and unhelpful.
• There was no fighting or arguing over the arrangements. However, I don’t which to ever have to do that again.
• “You should come to the Omega Omega service.” Nope, I am not going anywhere near the funeral home. I don’t do family hours. I didn’t do my mothers and any of the other relatives either. My aunt understood that about me. The Omega Omega service is one done by the Greeks prior to the actual funeral. My aunt was a Delta for over 50 Years.
• My shoes for the actual funeral were the business. Which was my quiet homage to my aunt who loved shoes as much as I do.

• “Shana, are you going to stay here by yourself?” Yes. “Well, when you get old we going to visit you too.” Said to me by my 8 year old cousin. Sweet.

I am trying to get back to writing, but it is taking me longer than I thought…

I am having a bad day...


I'm not having a very good day. Have you ever had one of those days? Today is my day. I woke up on time, but was an hour late for work. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess. So I began my day dragging because I have been working almost 30 days without a day off. The time change also has contributed to my bad mood, depression and feeling some kinda way. So as I took my sweet time getting ready this morning, I pass by one of the guest rooms and there on the dayum curtains is a lizard. Ugh! I HATE LIZARDS, I HATE LIZARDS, I HATE LIZARDS! That just about sent me over the edge. I just stared at that thing and said to myself, I really must not be living right. The last time, heck it could be the same lizard, the thing was in the curtains I asked one of my male cousins to remedy the situation his punk self was like, "Uh, uh I am scared of lizards." Grown man scared of a lizard. My fear is ingrained and I hate them something awful. When spring and summer arrive so do their nasty behinds. (I am really trying to not cuss, but I am just so mad right now!) Not sure how it is going to get out of there, but I have been known to ignore a room for months for fear of an animal. And I will. Of course, one of my female cousins will probably get rid of the dayum thing. My co-worker thought the whole situation was funny. I looked at her with a straight face as she continued to laugh with tears rolling down her face. She thought my whole reaction to the lizards was pure comedy. I am not laughing. I have to go home tonight and the first thing I'll do is look for that dayum lizard.

I think my bad mood started to kick into overdrive yesterday, when I found out one of my friend's father died. Found out after I sent her a text asking how he was doing only to find out hours later he has been dead since Friday.

I also was put in a pissy mood when I found out one of my book club members decided she was going to get together her own group at work to do the Joy to Walk. This pissed me the hell off. Not only is it tacky, but is speaks volumes of what you feel for the group that you have been a member of for 7 years. And get this, in order to register as a group you must have 10 people, she only has 4 folks from her job willing to participate. Good luck with that. This is why I am thisclose to disbanding this book club. Seriously. I am tired of the silliness of a few of these women. And we are walking for our book club member who has battled two rounds of breast cancer. We should be doing it together instead of apart.

I want to disband. I am tired. Been like this for a couple of years, but this last year hasn't been a bad year. We have read some great books, had wonderful discussions and have been encouraging to each other emphasising how strong our bond is, but I am so tired. I put in a lot of work to get things done, because I am extremely organized, only to see folks only half-heartedly reap the benefits of the book club. Honestly, I have outgrown some of my members, not all, but some. I am in a different place in my life and I seek peace. The only reason I haven't disbanded is because of my members. Contradictory, huh? I guess I am not feeling love the love I have put into this group and for folks to slap me in the face like in the paragraph above, irks the hell out of me. I shouldn't take it personally, but I do. I started this book club because I was lead to do it by a higher power. I have watched what folks have gain from it and I have seen the positive things we have done in the community, but I am tired.

I suffer at times from depression. I think everyone at times has a lull in their life where they feel down and exasperated. I know what my triggers are. I must have off time. I must have a vacation. I have been working too long without a sufficient break. I also need some me time as well. The time change didn't help me either. The pain in my right foot isn't helping matters much. Right now nothing seems to be helping.

I go to the Ross Knight Photography blog and get depressed after viewing the most beautiful pictures of weddings and engagements. I love the photos, love how the photographer captures the beauty of the moment. I love the statement the photos make and then I get depressed and cry after every viewing. Love exists.

Maybe I am just angry because on last Friday a member of our legal unit decided to walk a se.x off.ender to my office. That is a no no. I don't talk to sex offenders face-to-face. He comes into my office introducing himself as Dr. so and so. Dayum lie. Made the hair on my arms stand up and I felt nasty the rest of the day.

I ought to be happy I finally upgraded my cell phone to a G1. Yep I am with t.mobile and I ain't going anywhere when I have a plan that is talk anywhere, anytime to anybody for $49.99. It pays to be a loyal customer for 11 years. I do love my new phone. It does cool stuff. It just isn't able to make my day better.

I hate I had to blog my woe is me moment, but I felt like if I didn't, I was going to be even more hell than I have already been today. Plus, I have to go to my second job this afternoon. Seriously, my body is tired. My mind is tired. I can't wait until I wake up tomorrow, because I know this too shall pass...

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and a wonderful New Year. I have been lazy lately and didn’t feel like uploading pictures in order to update my blog. I didn’t take much time off during the holiday season, so any amount of down time I had was actually time used to prepare for my book club’s December meeting, which I always host and preparing for Christmas. When you have to cook several dishes for the holiday meals, it can be a bit overwhelming when you decide you will not use any annual leave during the holidays. However, I did break down and took off New Year’s Eve so I could clean and run errands.

Book Club Meeting

December’s book was Naked Love by Darnella Ford; if you haven’t read it pick it up. All the members enjoyed the book and we had a great discussion about the story. When members were calling me prior to the meeting they would ask why I was intent upon reading the book and my answer was, “I love literary works, but I like to read about flawed people and how they deal with life.” Our December meeting is always festive. This year I decided we would not draw names because of the economic situation many are facing and I wanted folks to use that money to help a needy child or person. Plus, the best present was our President-Elect Obama. Of course we had a great spread with my usual dishes. For some reason I decided that I was not going to be overwhelmed and basically wasted no time in getting things done in a timely manner. One of my friends was to come over an hour earlier to help me set up, but she was late and when she got there I was done. My time management was the bomb. It was a great meeting and although some members were missing, the meeting still was one of the best we have had.

Christmas

Christmas this year was a small affair. My cousin’s mother-in-law died in her sleep on Christmas Eve. So that was shocking, because it only seems like yesterday we were burying my uncle after Thanksgiving in 2007. However, we managed to have a festive day with good food, good people, and great drink and of course the mandatory card games. Um, I don’t know how to play cards and ain’t trying to learn but it is fun to listen to the trash talking. Unfortunately, I had to work the day after, but I put in four hours and went home and slept the afternoon away. All my decorations were down by the Sunday after Christmas, again not wasting time.

New Year’s Eve

I had no plans to go to any parties so that night stayed home. I boiled some crab legs and corn and drank Sparkling Apple Cider at the stroke of midnight. Due to my having a blistering headache all day, I didn’t drink any liquor. I woke up NYE morning with my head hurting and I took a couple of aspirin which kinda pushed it to the back of my head only for it to return after I dropped my Apple Cider in Sam’s. Embarrassing. Next time I get a buggy even if it is for one item. (Sam’s allowed me to get another package, yeah!)

New Year’s Day

My cousin cooked the requisite black eye peas, cabbage instead of collards, roast, chicken, rice and cornbread. We ate and sat around watching football games. Another lazy day.

Hair

I had my most recent retightening on December 11th. My consultant and I talked about my locks that have thinned, lost locks and combining the locks that have yet to swell and are just too small. She said that sometimes a lock will lock to a certain extent and she should me how in the thin areas the lock was still in the pattern, but that portion failed to mat for some odd reason. This is fixable on most locks, if caught early. She told me to stop pulling them off, as I have been doing. I only did 3 like that. She said they can be cut, but not just yet. She did some trimming this time because she only had about 30 minutes worth of locks to retighten. We discussed me banding and braiding and when I could stop. Okay I asked if I could stop with the banding and braiding and she said, “No!” Although, I do have some locks that are completely locked, I still have some that are prone to slippage and unraveling. I guess to prove her point, I had a lock on the side that I thought was lock almost completely slip out and I had it banded and braided. :::sighing::: I’ll be 2 years SL on January 9, 2009 and my hair still acts like a baby.

As far as retightening it has gotten much better. I find that if I just retighten without some rigid guideline and do it by feel only, I move faster and get done sooner. When I told my consultant it took 5.5 hours to retighten each side of my hair she was shocked. She says I’ll get better and try to do the retightening without a mirror and see what happens. Well during some down time, I did just that and I was able to finish the front of my head in 5 hours and the back in 2. Better. I also realize waiting until 4 weeks isn’t always necessary especially with my hair being so soft in the back and it slips much easier, so I am constantly retightening in the area. Probably part of my OCD. I don’t go back until February and then probably every three months until I only go once or twice a year.

Congratulations to all the new Sisterlock converts. It is so nice to see so many folks embracing natural hair. Hopefully, I’ll have some pictures up by the weekend or the first of next week. I got my new Tomaka’s Twist right before Christmas and I have been rocking that bad boy for a minute now. Nothing extraordinary has happened to my hair, but being able to retighten my hair on my own has saved me money. Happy New Year!

My May...

Where do I start? This past May was a bit busy and a bit different. My hair was acting a fool. I went from April 11, 2008 until May 29, 2008 which is just short of 7 weeks before my retightening. My head was a mess. I had a little afro on the left side where several of my baby locs slipped completely out and the right side um, let's just say my consultant had a few to put back in on that side too as well as combine a few to make them stronger! And the shedding! OMG! My curlie ends, were not really curling like they normally do and the ends were just shedding so bad I was getting nervous. I mean a little is one thing but my ends were hanging on by threads and some of my locs were thinning, which is why some of them had to be combine to create stronger locs. Hot mess! Of course I told my consultant about it and she suggested the SL conditoner cream on my ends and to moisturize my ends regularly. So we will see. I will say the shedding isn't so bad, but hey it has only been a week. Other than these few mishaps, my hair is doing what it does. I have few more sealed ends which I tend to seek out when I am bored. Yep, these 5 sealed ends make my day. LOL!

Okay, on to what other things have happen this month. On May 3rd, a former worker from my second job was murdered by her ex-boyfriend who refused to let her move on. She was 19 years old and had a 2 year old and a 5 month old. When we hired her we didn't know she was pregnant. I was so pissed! I mean you couldn't tell during the interview process, but when she got hired it was SO obvious. Nothing we could do, but I found her to be a sweet girl with a lot of challenges ahead of her. She wanted to work and she was reliable and responsible. Now, near the end of her pregnancy she wasn't worth two pennies put together, but I enjoyed working with her. I remember her talking about this guy saying he was older and would give her money and she didn't have to do anything. I remember to this day that I told her to be careful, because older men are possessive. He was 42 years old and he shot her in the head and chest and five days later killed himself. I cried when I found out about it because she left two beautiful babies, and one thing about her was she loved her children. RIP Shyya!

Another heartbreaking thing happened to my book club member. Mary just completed her cancer treatments at the end of 2006. Well, after her routine 6 months check up, they found cancer again. This is how I told my book club members:

When my aunt and uncle moved into their house, my grandmother planted a rose bush on the corner of the porch. It was her gift to her son and daughter-in-law. That rose bush has withstood harsh weather, being cut down numerous times and many droughts. Still it flourishes. Right now only a stump remains, but it has been in this situation several times before and each time like a rose growing out of concrete, it has risen. I know by the end of the year I’ll be stopping by it to smell one of its delicate red buds and inhaling its intoxicating scent. That rose bush is a true testament to resilience. It has to be, because it takes a beating but doesn’t give up.

Like that rose bush, enduring life means not giving up and accepting it takes strength, courage and understanding to live. I wrote this to inform you as Imani Sisters that each of us has a strength and courage to withstand life’s obstacles. On last Thursday, Mary informed me her breast cancer had return to the other breast. I immediately barraged her with questions she couldn’t answer and in her typical fashion, she kept up the strong voice and face. You have to be strong when faced with such an obstacle. She asked that I refrain from telling everyone until after our meeting on Saturday. As you can imagine there is a sense of shock and a need to deal and accept what one must face and she really wasn’t ready to answer our questions because she didn’t have the answers and she was still dealing with the diagnosis.

So I have been dealing with that and trying to be supportive. Ladies, please check your breast. Mary found the first lump by doing a self-exam and this time the doctor's found it. It is a different cancer and a different breast. By age 35 you should have a baseline mammogram and at 40 you should have them done every year.

Now on to some not so sad things. I am in the process in getting ready for the family cruise that set sails on June 30th. Um, next week I am going to post 20 Reasons Not to Go On Vacation With Your Family. And when you read them make no mistake about it, it has happened. LOL!

Read a couple good books this past month. Our May book club read was, Casanegra by Blair Underwood, Steven Barnes and Tananarive Due. It is a mystery/suspense novel that I LOVED. This book kept me guessing until the end. The themes were so diversified and the storyline so rich it is one book once you pick it up, you will not be able to put it down. This was the best book I have read all year, and I have read a lot of books. Next, if you like steamy erotica with a storyline check out Up All Night by Delilah Dawson. Let's just say it takes sexual fantasies to a whole other level. I am currently reading Don't Blame It On Rio by Jewel Woods and Karen Hunter it is a nonfiction book about why African-American men are going to Brazil for sex. And I am reading Beneath the Bruises by Dywane D. Birch, he is one of my favorite authors and he also has become a wonderful friend. It is about a domestic violence victim and her journey to self-discovery and moving towards a healthy life.

This month promises to be crazy as well, but I am going to try to do the post them later posts so my posts aren't a novel.

Hope you are loving life and living it to the fullest.

Next week a funny post...

Merry Christmas (Belatedly) & Happy New Years


It has been an amazing 2007 and hopefully I will be able to give you all a taste of what my mind has been thinking about this past year. One thing I know for sure is that I am blessed. Even with passings of my uncle and my boss this year I have been able to know that I will see them again and neither one of them suffered and that is a blessings. Plus, my aunt has been the strength for us all and it has made us all realize and cherish our family and our times together.

I have had these pictures on my camera for a minute, but with grief one finds themselves not worrying over the small stuff. But check out my hair length, my first caruso set and know ladies and gents, I have been SL for 11 months! You know what that means? A collage of my hair for the last year next month.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and find abundant blessings for the new year.

Saddness Prevails

I don't know if you remember or have read my blog from beginning to now, you will remember me mentioning my uncle. On Tuesday, he had a massive heart attack and died. As you can imagine, we are sad and are trying to deal with the loss and be strong for each other. I hope to be back posting soon, but right now as you can imagine I must deal with the loss. I found my peace with him a while ago and he found peace recently and knowing that made the loss understandable, if not easier to accept. I also believe that the loss of my boss in July prepared me for my uncle's death. I do know that he didn't suffer and he was at peace. Before I left for work that morning, he and my aunt were laughing and talking about the Today Show.

Life is too short, but accepting and understanding folks flaws never takes away from the love you have for them.

My uncle was my mother's brother and no matter what he was always there for my mother and for her children. One quality I could always appreciate about him was his ability to always take charge and make sure you had what you needed. He did for everyone and everyone knew Big John. So he will be missed.

Goodbye and goodnight, Uncle John!